Blacksheep (wants to) makes money....mehh..mehh

1/2 year later..

2008-07-26T02:09:00.000+08:00

It's been 1/2 year I've stopped blogging

Well, I found no purpose in it, I would rather have a friend to confide my thoughts with.

Hmm...

All The Way

2007-12-31T02:05:00.000+09:00

The 2 photos was taken earlier tonight in Jalan Sultan Ahmad Shah (known affectionately by Penangites as "Millionaire Row")

As I set up my camera, Light FM played one of my two all time favorite songs a duet by Celine Dion and Frank Sinatra - All The Way. And off course, whose heart wouldn't be touched by this view and that serenading music?

All the way.

I came to know this song when I was 16, year 1999, and only fell in love with it years later in my second year Uni while watching "The night we called it a day" in Piccadilly Arcade.

Well, those were the days of adolescence and where emotions are most unstable. I can't really recall anything significant about that movie (lame actually), but paying 3 bucks to watch it alone, passing my lonely night in town, and only a handfuls of patrons inside.

But it was when I got to know the lyrics, and trying to find the meaning behind its lyrics as time goes on. (Which is why I love good old classic music, I guess they stood the test of time).

Well, I its normal to like a person, but it takes is the courage to go deeper. It's a tiring thing to have sleepless nights, it exhausting to have heart burning, its heart braking when facts are far from anticipation.

I rather not go through these and have good sleep at night instead.

But then, will people agree, they'll have to take the chance to know what's there in a deeper level, knowingly there is a high possibility that outcome might not be desirable and disappointing?

p.s. But I sleep peacefully no matter what, understanding that what matters more is now and today.

The other song I liked is Nat King Cole's Fly Me To The Moon. (I love deep voiced classic singers)

Below is how Piccadilly Arcade looks like in 1958, many decades before I first step foot there in 21st century. Murray Street looks very different today from what it was, but the Piccadilly Arcade building remains intact.

24 Years and 4 Days Old

2007-12-30T03:12:00.000+09:00

Well, I should stop being reckless and care-free in life. Being 24 years old, while people might say things like "ah...you are still young", fact is, if I want to achieve what I wanted by around35, I should leap forward and in a faster pace, making every minute not wasted.

24, 24, time flies, as I flashed back my memories of my birthdays. 9,15,17,18,19,20,21...24 then I imagine in forward....30...45......55.....70....

I do not take birthday as a special occasion, wouldn't mind let it pass a normal day.

But I do remember birthdays of others, to show that they matters to me and I care.

With utmost humble, I always felt my existence is unimportant and my life is born empty. The only way to get my heart fulfilled is to see heartening moments in life, be it driving my grandma to place of worship on weekends, treating aunt and family members a dinner even which dishes are plain but moments are warm, or to flag a taxi for a poor old lady by the busy streets and paying the fare for her, knowingly I will sleep a happier person on that night.

35...35...

Its a time when I will be filthy rich.

35 will be a time I will smoke my first cigar.

35 will be a time I will bring Kit-Kat and candies to children running barefoot on the rural lands in Vietnam, watching their face filled with priceless happiness.

35 will be a time I can bring clean water and electricity to the farming communities in rural Burma.

35 will be a time I fully embrace a new career in a charity organization.

35 will be a time I built my cozy townhouse in the middle of a peaceful suburb in Perth.

35 will be a time I got my M3.

35 will be a time I will walk into a Dome cafe in Frementle on a sunny Autumn morning, sipping latte on a red sofa couch, watching the Indian Ocean with its breeze blowing gently on my face, knowingly that I had made it, and I am free.

I cheered for myself

2007-12-28T02:16:00.000+09:00

Yup.....I cheered for myself, yelling "wuhoooooooo" while cruising along the quiet coastal highway an hour ago, for a good reason (Later..)

It's 1.22am and I had just ended my MSN chat with my dear ABC (Aussie Born Chinese) cousin whom I used to live under the same roof back then and got close unexpectedly.

Well, reminds me of the days when we will quietly sneak into the kitchen looking for snacks during late night winter and she would cook me Kraft packed instant macaroni with cheese and I'll confide in her my heart break stories in the TV room when everyone is busy chatting in the living room during a night time family gathering. Once, the water sprinkler in the garden got burst on 6am in the cold morning in front my room and will rushed to her room and shout in silent "Carine!!! Help!!" and she open her eyes big (and blur) staring at me blankly..hahahaha

Oh well, nothing comes easy, we did fight before over small matters but in the end, we are still close to each other, thinking how nice she was to spare me a Ferrero Rochel chocolate which she took it as if its a treasure and hide it in her room. (Small girls...hai...)

Well, we got closed unexpected, who would have know our bond will get so close some day when I first met her at 10 years old. (Back then I only know I got 2 cousins in Australia). Well, I don't have a sister sibling at home so I guess she is the closest I have :)

I left office around 6pm, pack my stuffs, bath and had my dinner with my buddy cum housemate with his dad and younger brother in SS24, we headed home around 8.30pm and we left around 8.45pm and wouldn't hit the north south highway until around 9.00pm.

And so this is my first time doing a long distance driving, traffic was smooth and the radio chanting out soft and easy music on Light FM, and....I started to speed.

Yup, speed.....you know...man and machines are bonded together by the element called speed. (Not the ecstasy pill by the name Speed!)

Its like taking care of your horse on normal days, feeding it with clean engine oil, washing it throughly making sure it is in its best looks, filling up its radiator coolant to make sure it won't overheat and giving it a pairs of sexy white yellowish xenon lights and a pair of shoes (brake pads). In return she did you a great job the moment you start speeding on the highway. I thought, "hey buddy, let's do it" and he took me flying, from Sungai Buloh to Batang Kali, then flying by Sarbak Bernam, Slim River, Batang Berjuntai, Bidor, Teluk Intan (Merdelyn's home town), Ipoh, etc etc...all the way to the anticipated stretch of the journey - Penang Bridge with a magnificent view of the island!

Oh well, I enjoy speed, like most guys do, but I take conservative risk in speeding, only pushing the limits of 160km/h when the road is straight and there isn't car for long distance ahead while giving way to some insane motorist pushing faster than I do.

I managed to clocked 3 and 1/2 hour from KL to Penang and I think I won't want to do it in future again. (My housemate's Dad told me his record is 2 hours and 45 minutes, that's .... speechless!)

Nope, I did not ask for a shot of adrenaline out from it, I wanted to see the real potential of my Toyota horse, and she performed well, smooth and quiet engine flying all the way on the new sets of tires, a pair of sexy white and yellow xenon lamps lighten up blasting thru the darken road ahead.

Well, she look sexy to me even if she is now 5 years old, and looks outdated. She's my first horse, entrusted to me by my parents and I had taken good care of it all these years and I've built an affection for her, with no intention to trade it for a younger one or selling it to scrap yard even when she is 30-40 year old. (Probably I should have the same mindset when looking for a partner too, not for looks, but for the personality and characters)

Most of all, I cheered and screamed because, I passed my first night time high speed driving challenge, and most of all.....I am back at home again, to the small hometown I cherish most.

p.s. A male's passion for his horse is something that cannot be understood just like what affection the ladies have for their Prada handbags, Zara tops, Nemi skirts and Nine West heels.

And oh......I personally Nine West products, the ladies looked simple, elegant and sexy wearing them.

Back@Home Episode Two: The Bugger Is Back

2007-12-09T14:47:00.000+09:00

There seems to be a parallel relation between the frequency of my blog and the location of where I blog (Last blog was more than a month ago when I was back to attend Ah Peng's wedding).

In an hour's time, Ill be on the road traveling again, to the haze clouded, soulless, materialistic, crowded, dirty, shallow people filled valley where 4 million of population stays - KL. Oh bugger.

Well, life had moved on ever since I relocate down there. I reach Penang last friday on 1AM in the morning. The bus took us along the coastal highway, passing by Villa Mas and skidded by Queensbay Mall in the middle on the night. It sure feels nice, to see most of the houses had their lights turned off, and you start thinking of someone who you know who lives there, knowing that they could be sleeping inside, or the roads, the pedestrian path and the roundabout, which I took for granted when I always frequent that route and never notice, is appearing like what it was few months ago. It's all so familiar, again.

Oh Peening...I love this small town even more everytime I am away from it for some time. My parents picked me up from the station, and on the way home, seeing the high rise flats full of dots of red lights, I smiled quietly, thinking "well, this is the place you can only see such scenes" for the reason while this island's development had filled its landscape with symbols of modernity, gigantic malls, sexy town houses, new buses, the people still have a rich culture and maintained their tradition. And while the land mass of this civilization is small, it is compact but very much alive, where you know every street you go, be it at night or day time, you know there must to have someone in that area, you can feel it, even if you can't see it, as compared to many townships in KL where certain areas are like ghost town, deserted area once night time strikes.

I spend my second day making prayers at the Goddess of Mercy temple and the Burmese Temple in Burma Road, its has been my ritual to go places of worship of such kind everytime I am back in my home town. While I believed in myself more than luck and prayers, it's a ritual to remind myself of my past and my roots. I then have my own plate of traditional Char Koay Teow in Komtar, before meeting up my younger brother to buy some computer parts there. At night, we had steamboat for the whole family, my aunt and uncle in Australia is back and I got myself to enjoy my Anchor beer again at night (heee...)

Oh Peeeenang, even though this country no longer made me feel secure and I intend to call Kangaroo Land my new home , my past, my present, my roots still lies here in this Island(my akar, not zakar). I told myself, the faster I can make more money ($$), the sooner I can come back more often.

P.s. my home doesn't worship any statues or symbols at home, you won't get to see the red lights in my home, but should I have my own home someday, maybe I'll have for for the purpose of decoration than religion worship....

Some of my greatest buddies in AMD, all married or soon to marry (bugger). Photo took on my last day working there.

Back@Home

2007-10-28T01:04:00.000+08:00

Reached Penang last night, and there is a special feeling every time I take a flight home after being absence from it for sometime.

I left my office around 6:20pm, took the LRT and reached KL Sentral to transit with Air Asia's skybus, not long after the bus starting to heads towards the airport, I feel asleep exhausted.

Reached LCCT around 8:40pm, and I was thinking to grab a Cheese Burger from McD before I board the plane, but decided not to, I am so sick of it.

So in about 30 minutes time, I am already on the air, and the skies is bright, lighten up bu full moon and I get to glimpse how KLIA surrounding looks like...nothing...except palm trees and the plane cruise along the coast on Malacca Straits, and I took out my Wall Street Journal and start flipping it (like Warren Buffet yeah...wannabe)

When you are to land in Penang, it's a different experience, 10-15 minutes before landing, you start to see small dots of lights floating on the sea where moonlight shines on and look so calm - fishermen. And when the plane is about to hit the runway, you start seeing shadows of the hills around Balik Pulau bay area - serenity island feel.

As the plane got lower and nearer to the runway, I saw the road where I used to park my car by the roadside and watch airplanes land at night so I thought "ah....now here I am up here from the ground where I used lean on the back of my car ,enjoy the calm surroundings around the fields surrounding the runway and watches planes landing"

Yon Chet picked me up from the airport after that and we went for a glass of teh tari k and play network games at a cyber cafe nearby.

There is also a special feeling of the time you leave or you reach home at night.

Leaving your dearest family early in the morning while every one is sleeping save you the agony of reluctance to leave the home. You know, you quietly walk into everyone's room to see if they had themselves covered in blankets and you whisper goodbye quietly in your mind and tell in your heart how much they mean to you, then you quietly lock the door and leave.

And if you come home at say, 4am in the morning, on the way home, you start seeing the familiar streets and roads that you once commute or passes by, then you reach the door step of your home under the dimmed entrance light, open the door quietly,turn on one of the lights and seeing all the familiar things in the living area and look around the things you once see everyday and new changes to the home is an amazing feeling. You then quietly go to everyone's room and see everyone's sleeping and again, whisper quietly in yourself "I'm tired after a long time out there and glad to see you again" then you bath, sleep and next morning surprising your mom and dad that you're home and everyone's happy.

Not sure if you really understand me?

I found this solution for me as in the past whenever I am going to leave my home for Australia, I had always reluctant to leave. It's a lonely world out there.

You may watch Mel Gibson's "We Were Soldiers" on how soldiers leave their family in the middle of the night to avoid all the teary and crying scenes. Well, I am not going to a war zone, but I suppose the moral is the same.

Yup, in about 12 hours time, I'm leaving again.

Watch Update - Mondaine Evo

2007-10-22T13:18:00.000+08:00

Forget Swatches, it's too common, it's too plenty and it's everywhere. (Not unique in short)

Mondaine Evo provide an alternative to Swatch's simplicity, quality while being affordable.

The Mondaine design signature was originally set to be the official clock style for Swiss railway stations and had since then evolved into a fine watch maker. The style are like Skagen's clean, simple lines for the style-conscious person who wants his watch to be as utilitarian as it is fashionable. (Wear slippers and shorts consider style conscious or not?)

The design philosophy of communicating the time without confusing yourself with all the mechanical dials and exotic numeric signs is the best reason for anyone to strap on this Evo while able to pair it with your jeans for a casual weekend or business casual Friday.

Watches update - Skagen

2007-10-22T12:28:00.000+08:00

Mention the Danes and you'll quickly picture Danish cookies in the iconic tins right?

Now Skagen is a Danish watch company that I had only come across recently.

It's design is a statement of simplistic elegance. I like it.

Well, any of us here who is bored with Citizens or Seikos can consider this as alternative. I Google it and the results was pretty astonishing, most of the information are resulted from Japanese websites, cool. Apart from being notoriously famous for obsession with Porns, Japs are well known for their demanding taste for refined products.....yamateh!!!!

One of the comments quoted: "Most of today’s men’s watches,are about being seen and impressing others, but this watch will go unnoticed by many except for the most astute observers of style."

p.s. I will prefer the one with white dials and brown belts.

The tobacco taboo

2007-10-22T12:03:00.000+08:00

Sooner or later I will start smoking.

Nah, I won't.

People hook up with tobacco for many reasons, one is peer pressure during adolescence age, well, you can't chicken out when all your friends are daring you for one right?

Then there is this movie scenes inspired where lighting a cigarette is a cool act? So all the chao ah lian and chao ah beng start doing so in night clubs.

Then there are those who hook up out of curiosity.

Then there is another type which I might possibly fall into that category.

The type who are looking for something to relief some burdens holed up in the hearths....yup....depressed hearts in general, and I had been tempted to try it since schooling days.

Nah, I won't do it, it's too hard to quit nicotine, and treatment for lung cancer ain't cheap these days. I'll substitute that with moderate bottles of Anchor beer and meditation.

But sure those nice cigarettes boxes are worth collecting.

Enjoy Life: Defination Redefined

2007-10-11T14:12:00.001+08:00

Being a spontaneous person who can at the spur of a moment decide to go Tesco and grab some frozen pizza and beer, planning is not a vocabulary for he is (referring to me lah...Chao Ah Beng trying to write like English very good)

But I do plan or should I say, envision what kind of life or experience I would like to go through at every stage of life in future. I would like to work in a financial center like Hong Kong or Sydney someday as an expatriate, reason being financial centers are the places for my career to grow but also trying to experience urbanism.

Urbanism in my own rights, where public transports is the mode of mobility, urban barbarian hanging out in bookshops on Friday evening after work or tutor economics or finance in a university as my night time job during weekdays. (I love teaching and I love economics!)

On why I always love public transport being - buses will take you for a detour to places you usually won't see if you drive on your own as people tend to drive straight from point A to B while taking a train will bring you to vantage points of seeing nice view that is not accessible by car or foot.

So sometimes I wonder, whether myself spending some years of my childhood wander and running around granny's farm have a life long impact on me until today. From my schooling years in Australia till these days, I still love to wander around streets doing nothing, only seeing people, watching peoples' walk of life (places I had wandered the streets: Perth, Melbourne, Sydney, Adelaide, Singapore, but not Bangkok because the ladies are too keen to shop shop and shop).

Well, off course I had experienced different moods while wandering the streets in urban area, be it lonely, sad, heartening ones (with a nice pal or buddy) and so, each events are after all is an experience after all.

And least to mention, living alone in my bachelor's den in a urban city, in a way, self imposed exile where I can sit alone read, reflect, think and predict future. (I love to predict future but had since brush that habit aside as reality often doesn't come the same and predictions are nothing more than a desire for an outcome which can be disappointing and hurtful if not met)

With all the urbanism lifestyle above, its noticeable of the urbanism lifestyle's character - every activity are basically done alone.

I question myself at times, whether it is spiritually healthy for me to live a life of self containment, preoccupied with personal thoughts in individual space, not exchanging ideas and views, and not actively socialize with other human beings.

Not to forget, urbanism is a kind of life that is always on the move (which can be tiring and lonely).

But I do know eventually I want to settle down somewhere for a quiet and peaceful life, with a dog and my family (and hopefully loaded in pocket to do things I want to do outside my career).

So I had redefined an alternative definition for the sentence: enjoy life.

Its: different kind of life at different stages of life, no longer just the exclusive retreats and holidays, posh events, luxury goods and so.

p.s. All above are just purely a subjective view, not trying to be egoistic about it. I didn't take the photos in this post but borrowed from the other's website, the photos are the scenes that is nearest to what I had seen. (Also, my photography skills not that char lah...)

Things I want to do in this life

2007-10-05T14:20:00.000+08:00

No....I gave up the idea of doing a sky diving for once in this life, no joke if my parachute didn't deploy and I ended up as crushed meat from skies like what they do before preparing SPAM canned meat.

1. Managing funds (might not be the best finance analyst in town but it's the only thing I feel I can do better as a career ,pragmatically speaking)

2. Venture capital (funding people and small companies with great technology ideas that can possibly lift human living standards and revolutionize the way we do things)
** Because I am a failed science students who still love the geeky ideas like automated pervasive public transport systems, alternative clean fuels etc...

3. Own a creative studio (haven't really fine tune in details, but I like aesthatically pleasing objects for the eyes, anything to do with industrial design, interior design, creative advertisement, architecture)
**But not sure I can tahan those egoistic, alien language speaking artists, producers, designers from Mars or not.

4.Fund a medical research organization Cancer sucks, you know that.

5. Learn swimming (Then can go yatching)
*Sea shores I want to sail around includes St Martin Island, Capri Island, Agean sea

6. Build my dream home in Australia

.....

All sum down to one factor whether can make it or not, which is.....

Uncle Ben and his cousins like Abraham Lincoln, George Washington...etc etc (And maybe his friends in British Pounds, Canadian Dollars and Australian Dollars

Week 2 in Kat Lom Por (Typical bachelor life, but I love it)

2007-09-27T13:49:00.000+08:00

1 more day to go and I will end my second week here. Nothing much actually, life goes on, I learn to use the public transport system here the second day I started to work, not bad this time around, I was quick to adapt to this new place.

Typical week starts on Monday 6am,wake up bath, dressed and shut the apartment's door by 6:30am then hurried to the bus stop in front Kelana Jaya Medical Center along LDP.

Once the bus reach KJ LRT station, alight the bus at god speed, walk across overhead bridge, tap my touch n go card on the entrance and queue up Reach Tmn Jaya LRT station by 7:15 and walk for around 800m, lightning speed walk again, dashing pass PJ session court and some government offices. Morning walk to work like this is nice (better if this country has autumn).

Reach office usually at 7.30am, start busy with the reports before stock market starts, and by 8.30am I am free and will walk across to PJ town center across overhead bridge to have breakfast.

Start work again around 10am, my job is pretty much flexible, I am free to apply my own methodology and thinking into my area of research and it sure feel nice to squeeze the brain on something more challenging intellectually. For the rest of the day I will sit myself in my 15th floor office (with a nice view unblocked to Menara Telekom and Petronas Twin Tower as PJ don't have many high rise) I usually skip lunch and have a afternoon coffee and bread on my desk.

By 6.00pm I'll walking again back to the LRT, pace of walk will slow down a little compared to morning walk and the thing I love to do while waiting for LRT at the 3rd level is to lean forward to the side barrier and watch the skylines around and sometimes couldn't stop wondering and say "gee....I walked that far alright..." and draw a parallel reminder how much had happened for the past 5 years. (The view from LRT station to the building I worked in 800m away looks majestic as it stand out of the crowd in a low rise satellite town of KL).

Reach home usually by 6:30pm (That's why it's cheaper and faster to take public transport than drive), open up the kitchen cabinet and usually see:

1. Adabi Tom Yum Instant Noodle
2. Adabi Kari Instant Noodle
3. Mee Sedap Mee Goreng Instant Noodle
4. Maggi Chicken Flavor Instant Noodle
5. Maggi Laksa Flavor Instant Noodle
6. Yeo's canned Red Curry Chicken (ready to eat)
7. Yeo's canned Kurma Curry Chicken (ready to eat)
6. Ayamas canned Rendang Chicken (ready to eat)

Pathetic...so decided to look for something healthier, open the fridge:

1. Fish Fingers
2. Fish Fingers with Cheese
3. Ramly burger slice
4. A&W Root Beet
5. 1.25 litre Anchor Beer (A gift from god to human)

Ah forget it...instant noodles will do.

While waiting for food to be ready, dump all the fabrics into dirty laundry eating machine, and got it submerge for 3 hours before washing.

By 9PM, sit down in front my desk (forcefully) to get one chapter of studies done (painfully), by 11:30am hang my clothes and snoring like dead pig by 12am.

6 hours of sleep per day....damn, but I feel fruitful with my life, squeezing the most out of every hours everyday.

Cross my finger and hope my day to come (best if sooner than expected), but how? Look no further than below:

Day 2 in KL

2007-09-17T00:38:00.000+08:00

Heard that sweet old home town Penang is raining for days and having a cool weather up there, damn....I've been waiting for that weather for almost a year or more, I definitely love cool and rainy weather (except in Perth where winter rains and gloomy skies made your mood down).

Anyway, they say Penang people never leave Penang, they were born there, grow up there, study somewhere outside Penang, come back to work in Penang and raise a family in Penang, retire in Penang.

And here I am, sitting here sipping my Asahi beer in a place outside Penang.

Day 2 in Penang, so I start to drive on roads which names are so unfamiliar to me: Federal Highway, LDP, Old Klang Road, etc...while I was driving down the highway, I couldn't stop pondering about these..

I will be back to Penang, someday, for good..always a Penangite forever.

Pivotal Point In Life (Again)

2007-09-15T02:55:00.000+08:00

Feb 17,2002, I left my family whom I was so attached for Australia.

Then I came back to Penang and life goes on.

Today's the day, another pivotal point again, I had packed and loaded my luggage, heading to KL.

How do I feel? Reluctant, but not as reluctant as I used to faced before.

What do I aimed to achieve this round, well, it's for money frankly, but this is one part of the overall goal. The things I am passionate of doing needs money.

3.01AM now, I'm leaving at 7:00am, just to leave myself a mark here and say to myself "Here we go again, let's do it."

On Extravagance and Wasteful

2007-09-03T22:09:00.000+08:00

There is one pictorial scene that I had always remembered vividly in my mind, it always flash across my mind from time to time.

I was 2-4 years old maybe then, ain't sure who was the one holding my hand, my youngest aunt, my mom or both of them, they were walking me around Air Itam morning market and there are peddlers selling their things by the roadside. And we stopped in front Suiwah mini market (the owner of the mini mart is to open Sunshine Square super markets in later years).

We stopped in front of Suiwah, and I saw granny who was in her late 40's back then sitting by the roadside, taking out a papaya from a basket full of vegetables and fruits behind her bicycle, wrapping it with newspaper, and selling it to a customer.

You know, back then I was just a toddler who can't really walk steadily, that scene meant nothing to me until recently.

Little do I know how that scene will influence me as I grow up.

Everytime I flash back on that scene, it's emotional, it touches me and sometimes, tearful.

It always reminded me to not take things in life, for granted.

The family farm that grandma had worked on was typical during the 50's until late 80's. The area in Paya Terubong was a self sufficient, enclosed economy with a large concentration of household farms, where families plant all kind of vegetables, fruits and rear anything that meat can be consume, everything in small scale (unlike farmers in Australia who run orchards and plantations using machineries on big scale and rich). I was to spend my toddler years at the farm, running around without wearing shoes, stepping on chicken waste, encountering snakes and watching squirrels caught by my young uncle who was in his teenage years then.

Life was pretty simple back then, every morning, roasters are the alarm clock and granny will peddle his old and heavy iron cast bicycle carrying a basket of crops to the morning market (before dawn). Then by around 10am, she will reach home and not long after she reach, I will see her carrying buckets of water at the plantation watering the crops manually, feeding the pigs, the chickens. Around noon time, she will be done and sometimes she cooks or sometimes my aunts and my mom had cooked and the dishes are majority vegetables plucked from the plantation that the family cultivate.

Back then, there is nothing much to expect in life I suppose, all she wanted to do was to hope that her children will grow up and someone will take care of her when she is old. In the evening, she will nap and sometimes doing some odd jobs around the family estate like cutting banana leaves and selling it to gain some extra incomes. In the evening, I fondly remember once my young aunts will bring me to the plantation and pluck vegetables, tying up with red or yellow rubber bands preparing to sell the next day. I recalled that I was told my one of my aunts, the vegetables will be sold for 20 cents per bunch. (20 cents....in mid 1980's) and my young uncle will again carry water from the cement made rain water en-catchment to water the crops in the evening, the water en-catchment is also house to ducks my grandma rear and there are plenty of lotus and lilies (with frogs and toads in it).

As I write here, the scents of the water from the water en-catchment kicks in, the scent mixed of scent from the soil, the dull water, the plants around, I don't know how to explain this, basically, I now smell that scent I used to smell as a toddler at the farm 20 years ago.

Why papaya?

All because it reminds me of the scene of grandma selling her crops by the roadside, with brought me back the memories I had at the farm.

I feel guilty and ashame of myself as I think of it, I am now indulged by easy life, everything provided for by my parents and indulged in materialism (Panerai, Aston Martins..)

That's why I don't like to waste food, even if it's a leftover from previous day, because back then, the family can hardly afford any nice food except for potatoes, vegetables cultivated by granny at the plantation. (I hate buffet because you eat all you can, filling yourself to the verge of bursting your stomach).

Things that we take for granted like papaya we eat today, do we ever remember that those are the fruits of hard work, and sweat from people like my granny had given to us, we merely exchange it with pennies we earn sitting in the air-con office, starring at the LCD, typing and easily earned a few thousands per month while farmers in poverty worked under the sun facing poisonous snakes and worrying at night that the heavy rains that will destroy her crops and all the misery just to exchange for perhaps a few hundreds per month to feed the family?

Do we think of that? Do we still remember that?

I wanted myself to maintain a simple life, without too much craving for extravagance, luxury lifestyle. It's hard to resist the temptation for luxury things in life, I cannot want an easy and luxury life because it is against my moral.

Granny is now 70 years old, she broke her thigh bones 2 years ago and she can hardly walk now. At times, I feel guilty because there isn't much I can do to make her better days in her life. I can only spend sometime with her on Friday nights or weekends (But even so, I am always lazy to drive to her home at Penang Hill side, but I forced myself to).

She had been telling lately she hope to be able to "drink my cup of tea" (to attend my wedding in synonym) while she is still alive. I couldn't promise her that other than telling her to take good care of her health and live longer so that the day she waited can finally come.

She also told me that if I were to migrate to Australia, she want to go there and live with me.

You know, I don't like to make empty promise, but by not promising to someone, doesn't mean I didn't promise something in myself and try to make it happen.

How much I want her to know that I had promised to myself, I want to make it in life so that if she wanted to, I want her to stay with me when she is very very old and take care of her for her remaining years, and a comfortable life.

I hope the day will come and it's not too late when it came.

I really do..

Places Ah Singh Would Like To Go (North America)

2007-09-02T14:05:00.000+08:00

Compiling my list of place I would want to visit in North America.

1. Boston, Massachusetts

George Bush doesn't know how to pronouce it, want to go there and see how old and new architecture and landscapes blend together, as well as experience Bostonians' culture heavily influenced by Irish and English, more civilized compared to Cow riding people and Mustang worshiping Yankees in wild wild west hor?(what about Boston Tea Party??!!)

2. Toronto, Ontario.

Wanted to go there long before my soon to be former company acquire a Canadian company there and ignite a "Let's go Canada" travel frenzy, I don't follow trend. Basically Toronto is a lifestyle balance city I heard, not as frantic as NY, and more energetic than San Franscisco, should be an alternative to Sydney.

3. San Francisco, California.

Been there in 1988 when I was just 5, can't remember a thing about San Francisco other than photos taken there. Don't know the San Francisco coffee you find in KLCC is really from San Francisco for real? Go there ride the tram, and to find out whether it's another alternative to Melbourne? (Kangaroo land again...)Also want to see in person how the iconic terrace houses' architecture there known as "Painted ladies"

4. Seattle, Washington.

Go there drink Starbucks, visit Space Needle, not just that, Seattle is a very clean city according to a high school buddy who had visited there, clean and modern in the sense, the architectures there are relatively modern (Like Perth), the economy is also dominated by clean industries (high-techies like Microsoft, Amazon is based there). Small town like Perth, population half the size leh...

5. Vancouver, British Columbia.

Nothing much, except looking for an alternative for Perth in case I don't get my Aussie PR....but Vancouver not bad lah, got great Oceans and great lakes and beautiful forest to visit for outdoor activity lovers and alot of Cina mari people there (Very eng siew in finding out the good points...what if I say, Pamela Anderson hails from there??!!)

6. Montreal, Canada.
Updated 5th Oct:

Forgot to add in Montreal, a French city in the heart of Canada. Lots of architectured styled with European influence.

Ibiza Beats - Sunset Chill And Beach House

2007-09-02T12:15:00.000+08:00

Downloaded this album earlier this week, the CD's freaking chill dude! Part 1 is known as Sunset Chill, part 2 is Beach House, with the first CD is more of a chillout session and part 2 more easy listening by a beach (Carribean beach like St Martin Island or Barbados maybe...dreaming again).

Fast beat, slow beat, saxaphone, lounge everything incorporated in, one the the ultimate chill out CD that must be listened except some tracks in part 2 is a little chao ah beng discotheque style. But perfectly ok if I imagine my Angelina Jolie dancing with me to its beat...drool...

The tracks:
CD: 1 - Ibiza Beats - Sunset Chill
01 Jaydee vs Tamara Maria - Sunset I'm Not In Love (Interlude)
02 Arnoa - Afternoon
03 Laury Mary - To The Angels
04 Drex L feat Mr Dre - Just To Be With You
05 Arnoa - Cocteau Club
06 Fabrice Sioul-Silence
07 Tassel And Naturel - Till I Tremble
08 Bruno From Ibiza - New Orleans
09 Tassel And Naturel - D-Miles
10 Jaydee vs Tamara Maria - Gingele (Paradise)
11 Arnoa feat. Ze - Tentar Pensar
12 Laury Mary - Because Of You

CD: 2 - Ibiza Beats - Beach House
01 Lith De Lanka - Sky Eyes
02 Patrick L - Before Holidays
03 Love Dogs - Lovin On The Line
04 Johell - Venham
05 Litd de Lanka - How
06 Reno LNA - Froggy Style Samba
07 Big Band Beat feat Ze - Meu Amor
08 Reda - Com On
09 Patrick L - Deeper House
10 Reda - Marrakech
11 Da Cat - US
12 Reda feat Mr M - Back To My Roots (Zena)

Boh gian ler...nah beh...

2007-09-02T00:42:00.000+08:00

So I was looking at a colleague's Friendster's photos taken while she was on company trip to Europe and America, despite her joining almost the same time as I did 2 years ago, she had already traveled places.

Which reminds me of my boss reaction the moment I tendered my resignation letter.

So I was promised career development path, travels, stationing in the US, working in treasury department, everything promised (almost promised the skies?)

Boh gian ler...

Despite admiring my colleagues having traveled and seen beautiful sceneries of European cities and buying cheap Levis denims in US, nothing seem attractive than having the opportunity to go KL.

First of all, my boss is brilliant in grasping the financial aspect of a factory, problem is, he don't deserve any respect from me given that his balls are many times smaller than golf balls. Should he know how exercise his authorities in office to those impotent old people at work, I would have respected him more. And don't come justify his act to me as "Diplomatic" and "Being EQ intelligent". That is not EQ, that is timid and diplomacy only function when people fearfully respect a person who is fair, rational and authoritative. So everyday, I face those impotent old people trying to push me their work or pushing things to be done their way and if I disagree or trying to push back, they will always find a convenient way - go direct to my boss (and teach him how to be a boss and how to discipline this trouble maker blogging here)

So I quit, and to the old, middle age crisis ridden, impotent, Viagra needing, menopause facing aunties and uncle, happy retirement there, and hope that their Protons still run well in many years to come since they are not likely to be able to afford an import after their retirement. (I won't say this to Uncle Johnny despite him driving a old Wira and soon to retire because he's a nice and easy going old man).

And off course, do they really think I quit because of them? F*** those assholes dude, I am basically leaving that playground for them, and they may do whatever shit they like like what they had done for the past 2-3 decades, I am out to look for greener pasture, greener fields, greener grounds.

And right, basically, I am going to KL with an official reason "To look for an opportunity", by "opportunity" means not needing to climb corporate ladder (Not interested in that). rather, opportunities means making quick bucks and fast money and hopefully being able to achieve that at relatively young age.

Off course, life ain't that smooth and easy, maybe I might end up become an insurance salesman, CFP, or any financial products sales in 10 years time, scratching my head full of white and lose hair worrying whether I will meet my sales quotas(I deemed that as a failure).

Or maybe I might be successful, assembled my own fund management activities, and raking in multi millions bucks per year and command the financial resources to fund social programs, charities and building my own dream home in Australia. And by then I can go Dresden, I can go Sunnyvale, I can go Toronto, I can go anywhere without needing to carry laptop there to work (I deemed that as successful).

Well, it's a risky move I guess, dropping a high potential career path and development, all the travels opportunity, but a risk that, MIGHT, be rewarded to make millions at my 30's (Drooling...).

So boss....

Boh gian la...I rather take the risk.

And boss ah, can you promise me a potential (not even asking for a path) to be multi millionaire at my 30's if I stay on in the company? What? Millions at 30's? In finance world, only achievable if you are at CFO level.

Nevermind lah if I ended up become a financial products salesman, it's a risk well anticipated.

_|_ Anyway boss, you need to find some balls lah...

Solomon is Sulaiman?

2007-09-01T00:33:00.000+08:00

Nah beh....

Everyday see Middle East conflict, so I was briefly searching for King Solomon's info, turns out he is a Jewish ruler in ancient Israel, considered as son of David, a worshiped legend of the Jews...then.....

Quran also mentioned about one great, wise ruler by the name Sulaiman, also son of David....I suppose there is only one David mah right?

Haiya....tell the people in Middle East, stop fighthing each other lah, why not take time rest down their AK-47, sit down together, Jews or Muslim to read and debate about the similarities between Islam and Judaism, right boh?

Read more at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/King_Solomon

Ah Beng Starts To Read Literatures??!!!!

2007-09-01T00:08:00.001+08:00

Alamak...since when porno watching, negarakuku listening and beer gulping Ah Beng can start to read literature?

I first came to know Pluto through researching about the lost city of Atlantis. I used to dream when I was in school that if I am ruler of a land, what utopia will look like to me. As I found out later on, Atlantis was depicted in Pluto's works.

To understand one's idea, we need to understand the assumptions and fallibility of one's mind to see a broader picture of their idea, so the Ah Beng start to read about Plato's works.

So I decided to print out some of Pluto's biography, and some of his works to read it on my bed under my Ikea lamp.

Sipeh chia lat...while I was interested in world history, I never appreciate literature, the only literature I had read as at today is George Orwell's Animal Farm (Do I have a choice?) And to me, Shakesphere only reminds me the nude scene of Gywneth Paltrow, not things like "There Is Something Rotten In Amsterdam".

Teruk also...not mean to act class lah, just that Plato's is crucial in laying down the foundation for western culture and democracy, I love history (I scored A in SPM ok? Don't play play)

Problem is, I still belum have a good grasp of George Soros' Theory of Reflexity...

Alamak..

V for Vendetta

2007-08-24T00:40:00.000+08:00

"Evey, please. . .there is a face beneath this mask, but it's not me. I'm no more that face than I am the muscles beneath it, or the bones beneath them."

-V refusing to let Evey Hammond unmask him despite both of them being in an intimate relation.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I watched the movie months ago and finally I found the phrase of one of the dialogues.

I am not sure how the rest interprets the phrase.

Admitting fallibility, that phrase represents the value I agreed with. I love the phrase.

How will you interpret that as?

Spider-Man 3: Music from and Inspired By

2007-08-21T23:46:00.000+08:00

Downloaded this original soundtrack like a month or two ago, never really listen to it until this week. I got attracted at the first place by this track "A Letter From St Jude" by The Wyds, very alternative + rock feel about that song.

Just couldn't tell you how cool are the tracks, generally speaking: alternative + rock+ fine music + contemporariness, you have to try it to love it. (Or you can imagine renewed 70's
of the Bee Gees, John Lennon mixing with millennium's Cold Play (main sejuk), Oasis.

Favorite track of mine includes:

1.Snow Patrol - Signal Fire (Ronda salji again)
2. Rogue Waves - Sightliness

Two tracks that are special to mention:

1.The Flamming Lips - The Supreme Being Teaches Spider Man How To Be In Love
2.Chubby Checker - The Twist

Me Against Time and Intellectual Capacity

2007-08-14T19:48:00.000+08:00

I got my CFA textbooks since early April and had barely touch it until late last month.

And so now it's Mid August, and I have only 3 and 1/2 months left to examination day on 2nd of December, and so here comes the rush again (Or should I say race).

My typical day starts at 7:30am, reaching office at 8am and ending at 5:30pm.

Upon reaching, a cooling bath is essential and after dinner, I'll take 1-1.5 hours of nap. And from there, my race starts when I open my books around 8pm, having a few short interval breaks in between until 2am in the morning.

It was tiring in fact, probably sleeping like 5-6 hours everyday but I was glad that I had not felt regret for enrolling at the first place, in essence I pushing myself out from my comfort zone and by doing so will hope that I progress (intellectually).

And each time when I complete my session of study, a small little tick will appear on my study schedule and I feel fruitful about it. Also each time, when I was stuck at certain topics I'll crack my heads to understand what the text is trying to tell but eventually when I manage to solve a question or understanding a topic, it makes me feel rewarded (that's the best part when you study on your own, you push your cognitive function to and see where are your limits)

Hee.....in few months time, probably I will look more like a geek and become obsessed with financial formulas and theories....

But I love the challenge...

Snow Patrol - Chasing Cars

2007-08-04T19:48:00.000+08:00

Went airport to send Jolin off to Melbourne, so off she goes. I hate going to the airport departure hall on evening, reason being in the past I had experienced catching a late evening flight and head back to Australia, with all the reluctant feeling to part with my family (and sun setting on the horizon while you're on the way there compound that sad feeling).

Feeling a little sad that my companion will be somewhere far away from me today onwards, I now sit in front my PC, with the skies getting dark as the clock is soon to hit 8pm. So I was looking for some music to smoothen myself.

Found this chart topping song in my Essential Band compilation, haven't listened to it for sometime.

The song strike me deep impression late last year while I was driving home on one evening, around 8pm probably, my car was crawling in slow traffic in front Tesco. So happened that Hitz FM was replaying the gotcha prank call, Rudy called up one guy pretending a gay and expressing his affection using the lyrics of Snow Patrol's Chasing Car....damn..

Anyway, I love the song, it's going to go into my song list that I will play when I drive my cabriolet down the freeway in Australia along the coast on sun set.

Farewell my friend

2007-07-30T01:15:00.000+08:00

Come this Saturday, Jolin will be flying to her new found homeland in Australia.

I felt saddened for her decision to leave, nonetheless, it's a good move for her.

At one stage of life when my sanity was disturbed and troubled, I looked forward to go the the beaches on Friday night to seek calm and contentment, so she was the friend accompanied me during those time.

We met each other less frequent these days, probably once every few months, and each time we met, something would had changed in our life.

Jolin hailed from Malacca, we met each other during college pre-U, her elder bro, Jeffrey was one among us, the typical college kids - mischievous, playful, while she had been somewhat quiet and reserve a person and we hardly talk.

Not sure why she hated me so much initially, but anyhow, I still managed to catch up with her twice in Melbourne during my winter vacation, each time we met would be less than probably 2-3 minutes.

The first time was on late evening during chilly autumn of 2003, she was in Melbourne down town after Easter celebration and somehow we meet up on Swanston Street, just a brief rendezvous, having not seen each other for more than a year ever since we finish college.

The second time was during early evening of winter 2004, she herself just went for an job interview and we just meet up briefly somewhere on the streets of Melbourne city center, a brief hi, and perhaps few minutes later saying a "bye".

I still recalled the night, that year, I was chatting with her in my university's computer lab, she had found a job in Dell that April, 2005 while I was still struggling with my assignments in school late night, somewhat I felt pressure to finish my schooling as soon as I can at that time.

Jolin is the kind of girl who is independent and capable in her work, but I know, she's ain't diesel, sometimes I felt she probably need a little more attention from people around her like her family and her boyfriend, she needs more attention to gain confidence towards herself.

I start to wonder who to look for to accompany me to beach if I am troubled again.

I am happier a person now, and I am grateful she was there for me, even though now that I replace beach with meditation, still, I am grateful for her.

We were the kind that became good friends unexpectedly after knowing each others for year.

Sometimes it's a amazing to see how unexpected friendship can evolve and go through a long journey; be it different places you and a friend had had been (from Penang to Melbourne, then Penang again) or phases of life college to university, to work, or a journey of changes in our maturity, our view and understanding of the world (like growing up, adolescence and heartbreaking relationships.)

Penang will sure be a little more lonelier after she leave.

I wish her all the best in her new country.

Starting My Own Fund Management Activity

2007-07-27T00:19:00.000+08:00

Finally I sorted out what I want to do for my career in the long run - to be a fund manager, collecting money from investors, invest that money and growth people's wealth.

Well, contradictory to what I used to dreamed of the lavish and glamorous life style of you can get as a fund manager, I see my career goal in fund management with a more noble view this time. To create wealth for investors who entrusted me with their hard earned money.

So the job i aspire to be working in is not just a career goal now, it's more like one step into what I want to do in life - render service to other people and make life better for them.

That's what makes it more compelling for me to continue my studies in CFA and economics in future.

I am still in process of trying to get a job in securities and investment industry.

I got a start lately, my grandma entrusted me with a big portion of her savings (amount wise not really big). So I felt grateful for her trust. I earn some buck of commission out of helping her to subscribe to a unit trust and less than 1 month the value of her investment had appreciated due to strong market activities and she is near to recoup her initial charges paid for investment.

Earlier, I went to my aunt's place to let her sign some forms and I am on my way to get my second deal and I am expecting to do a few more deals this week with dad and mom's friends.

By helping them to buy these investment products, I get a decent amount of commission from the companies that sells the products, that had helped me a lot in paying my bills.

But to be frank, do you really think I feel good about reaping the commission rewards from selling those investment products to my family and friends?

The answer is no, I don't feel good nor do I feel deserve to take the commissions from them. Even that my family members had wanted to buy those investment products from the start (and will buy from other agents anyway if I am not selling), I still truely think I don't deserve to earn those commissions.

In essence, I had always believed in every penny should be given to every effort of hard work, which in this case, I didn't do much for them except filling in some forms, do the banking and submitting the forms on their behalf.

My believe was that, I never liked the scheme called mutual fund / unit trust (I will just call it fund management thereafter)

True as it maybe, unit trust or mutual funds provides a opportunity for the mom and dad investors to participate in the economy by indirectly investing their money into companies or securities that any average Joe won't understand or have no privileges to invest because their capital is not substantial enough.

By pooling the collective small amount of funds, investors will be able to leverage the scale and the big pool of money: get lower transaction cost and at the same time access to investments opportunities that is not available to small time players like you and me

Can you imagine yourself bring RM2000 and show up at a investment bank and say "I know you got private placement for this share of the company that is soon to go IPO, I have RM2000 and I would like to invest in your company?

I dislike the fact that, often,the fees charged (including my commission) on investors does not commiserate with the performance of the fund manager.

There is a thing called fixed cost, where when you first invest say, RM10,000 up front you need to pay a entrance fee of 6% or RM600 for joining and subsequently, you are charged 6% per year on top the value of your investment as the fee for managing your money.

More often, 4% out of the 6% entrance fee goes to the agent or salesman who did nothing much other than talking you into buying into their products. They care not whether it's a good investment for you as long as you buy something from them to earn them commission.

I had always thought, the pay for those people who sell you things should be rewarded in tandem to the performance achieved, and should not be fixed. This will actually motivates the fund managers to be more aggressive to maximize returns on investor's money.

And also, I thought that investor should be able to join a good investment scheme without a middle man (like me) who didn't do much and still get pay many times more than the hard work gave in.

My preference is something like what hedge funds does.

Typically, fund managers receive very minimal management fees from investors. Their rewards can only rely on how well they had grown investor's money. Often, there is a minimal target a hedge fund need to achieve in return on investment. Once the target is hit, they get big bonuses from investors or they get profit sharing out of the money they had made for their investors.

So if investors are not making money, I don't see why the fund managers should continue to drive their Mercs and Beamers.

And often in the process of investing, investors approached hedge funds managers directly, by passing the middle man.

Only problem is, hedge funds can afford to bypass the middleman because they are only open to numbers of wealthy and rich investors who knows the fund managers individually.

So I was figuring, what should I do with the commission made from grandma and aunt...

It's pretty tempting, I would like to use that money to buy myself a Denon stereo system.

But I thought of it as, I don't deserve that money and it's not mine.

So it would be better if I can record down the commission I made from each person, invest those commissions wisely to make more money, so that maybe 10-20 years down the road, the money had grown a lot and I can return to the people for their retirement or child's education.

So there goes for myself, starting my own fund management activity, hoping to grow other people's money and make life easier for them in future.

p.s. I am doing a deal with a widow this week whose money came from death insurance of her husband, you can expect how will I feel when I receive the check from the lady.

Wonders Of Communication Devices

2007-07-16T21:12:00.000+08:00

The phones you are seeing on the left are the exact models and colors of my first and second phone; and both phones came into my life at different period of time.

You might wonder, those are just 2 old, outdated phones, why speak of them coming into one's life during different period of time?

And you might also wonder, why would a person getting 2 phones of same design subsequently? A Nokia 3310 and a Nokia 3330 (different model, same design with the later came with a WAP functionality).

I first got the Nokia 3310 when I first enrolled into college 6 years ago. There is no particular reason for getting it other than adolescence (peer pressure perhaps) seeing all your friends having one would make you need one. My excuse to mom and dad was that with alternating studying schedule, I would need one to call home I'll be home a little late or call friends to drive me home sometimes.

Initially I wanted a Nokia 8250, costing probably RM1200 back then. I didn't manage to get it as the shop ran out of stock and we were asked to wait for 1 hour delivery.

So weeks later, Dad got myself a Nokia 3310. Well, it was the first phone in the industry that incorporates hidden antenna into the phone itself, costing RM600 bucks or around that range. So it became my companion for around 1 year. Nothing significant owning that phone except it's my first phone.

On 17th February 2002, day 6 of Chinese New Year, I surrendered my phone on the coffee table in living room that morning before heading off to airport and left for Australia. I still recall that scene, when I first take that thing and put it on the table, I stared at it for 1-2 seconds before walking out to the car. Well, that was the feeling like "Goodbye to my buddy who accompanied me for a year"

The very next morning of 18 February, my uncle was flipping some flyers by Optus, and there was a $18 per month deal for a Nokia 3330 and he asked me whether I want to order one since they are doing so, so I followed suit and 3 business days later, I got the phone with the number +614-21632236 (my cousin sister still keeps this number as at today)

I'm not sure back then who I first communicate with my phone, most probably SMS my dad about my new number.

Well, one of the memorable calls I received within days of receiving my phone was from buddy Yon Chet in Melbourne. (Or was that I who called him?)

Optus (the mobile phone service provider owned by Singtel) allows its postpaid customers to call for free from 8pm to 12am nightly to another Optus customer, 20 minutes for each calls.

The night I received the call, I remembered we cheered on the phone, shouting "oooi!"

I myself would not know how much the phones meant to me without myself knowing it until years later.

The phone had been my companion, connecting myself to the world outside the place where I was staying or the feeling of guessing who is calling whenever the phone rings.

And need not mention, the classic Nokia beeping tone for income SMS. Each time it beeps, I start to wonder who is SMSing me.

Over the years, I got myself 2 new mobiles phones (soon to get a new one), a Motorola V60i and a Siemens CF62, both clamp shell phones are much more stylish than the their predecessors and has more functionality, but yet, I still feel for my first 2 phones.

Want to know why it feels special for my first phone?

I got reminded of this feeling the other day when I was reading a SMS sent from a very close friend since college from the rural place of Tasmania, Australia, probably 7000km away from here.

The feeling was like the first time myself logging into MIRC chat room when I was 14. The amazing feeling that yourself or the other person who is apart for thousands of miles away receiving your SMS unexpectedly, he/she could be walking on the streets, in the classroom, in the market or watching TV at home.

Then you can start to imagine his/her environment she is in while reading your message it could be so different than yours, he or she could be wearing a sweater in chilly weather while you are hiding in your blanket during a monsoon rain or maybe the other person is doing something he/she usually do like walking on the beach during sun set or lying on the bed waiting to sleep at the time you send your SMS.

You both are receiving information about each other, without seeing each other or talking to each other, like as if you and him/her are from different planet and space, transmitting information to each other, updating your how abouts.

That's the wonder of communication devices, do you catch that feeling?

Same things applies to learning to use Morse Code transmission device, fax machines, walkie talkie, etc other than just mobile phones and internet chat room.

The world is made smaller because of these inventions.

As for me, a phone with SMS capability is more than enough to retain that feeling.

Cool evening - like early autumn

2007-07-08T00:57:00.000+08:00

I was walking to my car after sending a lady friend up to her apartment last night. As I walk, a light gust of cool and refreshing air after after the rain gently hits against me and reminded me my final 1/2 year in Perth, my happiest time I ever had for my 3 and 1/2 year stay.

Sometimes I wish I can be someone who always look forward and strive for the future instead of being too nostalgic and anchored down by the past, be it happy or unhappy.

Well, by July 16th, it will be 2 years elapsed since I ended my studies. While I was walking to my car last night, I asked myself 'How do I do?" and the answer was simple: I am still lonely but I am happier a person than I was, and now I think back, why would I be so dumb to grieve for so long then for a person who's really not worth it.

I finally learned to move on.

I started year 2005 with a rush, dad placed me in a warehouse for training during summer vacation and I went back to Perth in early January to catch my summer school, chasing back time lost for dropping out computer science. Without summer school, I would had ended up studying 4 years instead of 3 as planned. (Not bad, in actual I completed my degree within 2 and 1/2 years).

Back in Perth, it was summer 2005 and I lodged temporarily in a friend's apartment in East Perth while he was headed back for his hometown in Indonesia. Over the course of 5-6 weeks, I would experience how was it like to live in down town alone, enjoying the convenience and feel how was it like a loner living in the city center. Most of the time, I would eat Indofood's Mee Goreng, SPAM fried with egg and eaten with bread along with fresh milk. Life was carefree, having able to live alone, I need only be responsible for myself. I will just leave the part where how much I also missed my ex back then since it's no longer relevant to me, but one thing I also learned was it was always good to have a friend it times of need.

That was when myself, Aneh and YW got closer to each other (we met each other in Database Programming 200 class in prior semester). Summer time in Perth is quiet as majority of students went home, most of the time YW would join me to stay overnight at school study with me. As the clock would hit midnight, our stomach will usually turn hungry, most of the time we will end up buying chocolate bars from the vending machine or Aneh driving us to Northbridge for a late night supper or occasionally I will pack my SPAM + Egg sandwich in plastic wrap to school (YW is the only person that will enjoy a typical carefree bachelor's food.)

Most of the time, we stayed in the school computer lab ended up only spending 30% of the time studying and 70% of the time surfing net, playing online radio on the lab's speaker and watching Jackie Chan's New Police Story on the LCD projector meant for teaching purposes. Each time after a overnight stay in school, we will walk exhausted like dead meat to the bus station and part there after she board bus 99 circle route and I take bus 34, 72 or 79 to the city.

January 26th was Australian day and we went watch fireworks at the river shore. I was glad that she was with me when I was really lonely and in need of a friend. Usually if I am alone at home, I would usually do push ups, stretch and dumb bell lifting at home alone. I don't really knew how I can I live alone back then, but somehow I made it.

One memorable evening was Yolanda serving me Peri Peri seasoned fried chicken with rice (it tasted great). It was weekend I think, there will be no bus until 8pm as I missed the 7pm one, so I decided to walk instead of wait, from Victoria Park to City, for like 5km I think, my foot was tired and the bus passes me by as I was about to reach the apartment I stayed. It made no difference for me to wait for the bus or walk to my destination at the first place, but it was always my nature of impatience, rather to sit and wait, I would rather walk, experience and see the streets, the houses, and the cars passing by, it's the experience that matter, not how efficient myself getting to my destination. While walking, it also allows me to take my time and ponder about life, philosophy and the catch 22 situation of to wait for a bus or to walk rather than wait.

Chinese new year first day that year, I woke up late in the morning, around 10am and the weather was hot. My breakfast (pathetically) was Indofood's Mee Goreng instant noodle plus 2 half boil eggs with soy sauce and pepper. I had my last exam paper the very next day's morning and rushed to the airport on the evening after I hand in the paper.

2 weeks later, in mid of Feb 05, I was back in Perth again, I moved into Aneh's home and was to stay there for my final 5 months over in Aussie land. Never did I know, staying with Aneh was the best thing I can expect. While messy a person, the fact that having an easy going and generous housemate really make my stay a pleasant one.

First semester of 05 began and usually the first 4-5 weeks was honeymoon for us until mid semester exam comes. One ordinary but memorable evening was for 3 of us shopping at Coles in Bentley and cooking Curry Mee with pasta as replacement. 3 of us wet ourselves with sweat eating curry mee in hot summer evening and the air cooler didn't help. Coincidentally, aneh has a XBox at home and I was about to spent alot of time racing Need For Speed: Underground for 2-3 months, my favorite car was still the Hyundai Tiburon.

1 week, 2 weeks, 3 weeks and so on, it's already April and weather turned cool as it's already mid Autumn, my clothing get thicker. Another memorable day was myself and YW visiting Perth Motor Show (my first visit to a car show) and I managed to sit into many types of cars. One car that strikes me deep is the Volvo XC90, as I sit in and YW close its doors, it really makes me feel safe in a large family SUV (and it comes with a in-car phone with it, cool!!)

One evening, while my uncle and aunt was driving me home after dinner at their place, I got a private number phone call, as expected, it was dad and I got a surprise: Dad is coming to Perth next week for a company's meeting and Mom is following, it sure feels good they are coming.

Mom and Dad came on their own and took taxi to Jondulup Golf Resort (45 minutes to the north by train from Perth). That evening, aunty and cousin pick me up from my place and drove there. Not long after we reached, we drove down south again to town in search for food, we ended up dining in Saigon Vietnamese restaurant, mom and dad really enjoyed the beef noodles. The next morning we went town for dim sum before going back to aunt's place and dad was to spend his last 2 days out of 4 alone at he resort meeting his colleagues while myself, mom and aunt went shop around.

With dad being a exhausted man at office, I was glad that he enjoyed that 4 day stay of resting alot. He spent most of the time napping whenever meeting is over and he told me the autumn climate was nice: sunny and warm skies but cool breeze and fresh air. How much I wish I own a house there someday so mom and dad can really take a flight to Perth for a rest and fresh air whenever the like. (Which is when I started with a dream of keeping a home there someday when I can afford to).

Time flies, weeks after weeks, our student life moved on, 3 of us would wait for each other after our classes and dine together, more often it was at the school's main cafeteria, Vic Park's McDonald's, Northbridge and sometimes cooking at home. Another unexpected thing was that YW also enjoy my chilli fried egg (it sure feels good for a lonely person having something that was being appreciated by others).

Occasionally on Friday evenings and nights, I will go to Boffins bookshop at Hay Street reading and browsing latest selection of books or we will go window shopping in town (Friday's the only night where shops in town open late), our favorite department stores had always been upmarket Myers and David Jones (sounded like the villain in Pirates of the Carribean). Merchandises from edgy plasma TV to silky bedsheets wouldn't miss our sights. Another instance was at the dining and kitchen department, we had always laughed at Aneh's taste for dining utensils, while sharing how our dream home will be like, I would always prefer my dining area to have utilitarian styled utensils and minimalist dining table, Aneh will always want those Victorian styled, fine dining and classy (boring and outdated) forks, spoons, tea cups and plats. That year, I got mom a piece of garlic cruncher and a nice can opener at a bargain of below $10 from David Jones (May-June was sales and stock clearing season for retailers) and I really appreciate the attentiveness given by the middle aged lady shop keeper helping me to look for the best garlic cruncher despite I am only a petty spender in their store.

That night was 3am in the morning, I was logging into the school's website to check my results and the connection was cloaked, YW managed to logged in and I gave her my password to help me checked my results, it all ended without drama, first thing she told me was I didn't fail any of the subjects and second thing was my results was pretty funny, the marks I scored was in sequence: 64,65,66,67 (Not bad actually compared to the effort I put, too much time spent on XBox)

The very next day, I called up MAS to book my return ticket and wrapping up preparing to end my student days. My last stroll was having a walk around new development area in East Perth suburb, taking photos of nice houses with YW (so that I can refer back in future when I build my own home).

Life sometimes is like a movie being divided into chapters in a DVD, only difference is that the story is sequential, you cannot play any chapters randomly and also unlike DVD, you cannot replay the scenes you had seen in the past, only remember it.

In every chapter of life, perhaps there are people who appear often in your life. Before I went Australia, the only people that I have in life was my family, I don't have fond memories in school and I don't have alot of friends.

As I went there, I began experience changes of people in life, suddenly my family members whom I never left for more than 4 days was out from my daily life and my aunt and her family and my friends replaced them.

Also, the venue for each chapter of life changes, giving ourselves experience in cultural and lifestyle difference, tune and the space to grow up, shape our thinking and learn something outside our own world.

Aunt was a lonely lady in Perth, having migrated there at the age of 20 with her husband family, she has no sanctuary to seek refuge with whenever argument within the family erupts, so I was her only nephew that she feels she have someone there for her to rely on. (I know she was sad when I leave but don't worry aunt, things will change).

I was also glad to have met 3 buddies there even though I don't have alot of friends there. Having a few buddies for me is more than enough, rather than having too many friends whom I can only be friend on shallow level.

I will be meeting Aneh soon as he is back in KL for a short stay, he has since granted a permanent residency status in Australia.

p.s. Boffins is a bookshop something like the one Hugh Grant has in Notting Hill. It was located in a row a shop lots (perhaps 100 years old) in Hay Street surrounded by new high rise and building. It was renovated in 2004 giving it a contemporary interior design while maintaining its shop's classy looks from outside of the early 20th century, Victorian styled architecture.

On animal cruelty and being vegetarian

2007-07-06T01:15:00.000+08:00

To be true, hunger is something natural for living beings, nothing sinister about it.

Having tasted variety of food before, I must say I don't really enjoy lavish and heavy meals nor do I enjoy meat (even it tasted nice).

Heavy and lavish meals make me feel sick each time after I consume it, but it's a dilemma, sometimes when the hunger is too great, all reminders about the negative side of eating too much are forgotten, I just couldn't be bothered and start filling in the stomach with food non stop until I feel full and just to regret later.

On being a vegetarian, it's a little complicated. My granny rear pigs, chickens and ducks in the old days and she slaughter the animals sometimes. My first impression on animal slaughtering was when I was 5, mom just gave birth to my younger brother and I saw a black chicken floating motionless with drop off feather in a big pot of boiling water (that should be the main ingredient for a herbal soup to be boiled later).

Then again when I was in form 1, I was accompanying my mom to the market in Jelutong and I saw some chicken sellers slaughtering chickens at the market on the spot for customers. And once I saw a goat was hanged on a tree with its belly torn open at a park in front a housing area, and also once I saw on TV3 showing how they slaughter a cow during Hari Raya Haji, with the crowd surrounding it and myself feeling sad for the cow as it struggled helplessly waiting for its time to come.

As times passes by, I encounter more animal slaughtering scenes and it grew my conviction stronger, I should eventually stop eating meat someday.

One scene that impacted most was a program introducing North Korea on Discovery Channel late last year or earlier this year. Seeing the pig being dragged helplessly and crying to the open space for slaughter, it broke my heart. Each time whenever program breaks and the same scene was shown, instead of switching channel, I will make myself watch that scene to remind myself the cruelty to animals.

As I grow older, I guess my view and conviction on animal cruelty grows stronger.

I know, it's hard for me to completely let go my craving for meat, especially when I am hungry, but I must somehow try to cut down progressively on meat and to be a full time vegetarian eventually.

It's less of Buddhism, more on compassionate, and both coincidence.

Grandpa also told me before, they feel uneasy, guilty and have sleepless nights every time after they slaughter a pig. He told me that pigs are intelligent animals and he felt bad to slaughter them because they see them born, feed them everyday and see them grow up, there is a bond established between human and pigs.

One farmer friend of my grandpa keeps a pig that behaves like a dog, every morning the pig will wait for the master at the front gate and guide it's master to the hills and keep him accompanied while he is chopping woods.

One stray dog my grandpa used to keep had been my granny's best buddy, guarding her against snakes while she shovel and unearth the soils, farming for vegetables.

Sometimes I feel helpless too as I know I can't stop the slaughtering of animals, so I can only do my part: stop eating meat. And I feel guilty each time after I took meat because I did not live up to my words.

So I guess to be a vegetarian really takes lot of discipline and courage, the courage to completely let go the craving and good taste of well cooked meat cuisine. Each time when I am able to control myself from ordering meat dishes and got myself a vegetables meal, it really makes me feel good (and healthy too).

And vegetables really makes me feel fresh and light on my stomach too.

I hope I am not insane to think this way and I do think adopting a stray dog that would had been killed from SPCA is something more noble than keeping a pricey chihuahua or Jack Russel Terrier.

After all, a dog is a man's best friend, all it matters is the bonding between human and a pet, rather than its looks.

And by the way, do you know humans are herbivore in nature?

35 Hours Journey

2007-06-30T21:20:00.000+08:00

I think I can come out with my own show that mimics Kiefer Sutherland's epic 24.

Thursday, 28th June

4:00pm - Apply leave in eOT, message pop up by senior saying "Boss ask whether you can not take leave tomorrow (Huh ??!!)

4:45pm - Last minutes orders (request is too gentle to reflect the nature) by those impotent, viagra needing engineers and that dumb accountant so excited about the company van, not sure how am I going to make it to bus station on time

5:00pm - More requests (Because it's quarter end, everyone is on shopping frenzies, god damn it those people have 1/2 year to use their budget and they wait until the very last minute)

5:30pm - Running back from friend's car collecting my travel pack

5:45pm - Reached bus station, bus not ready pending for passengers to board

6:00pm - Off we go, 5 minutes into departure already stuck in slow moving traffic on bridge, fell asleep before we hit the bridge, the bus conductor try to sound like an air steward "Ladies and gentleman we are now departing on our journey to Kuala Lumpur, the time is now 6:04pm and the journey will take around 4hours to reach our destination." (Hello brother....you just got laid off redundant by MAS is it?)

6:30pm - "Pop.." oops....a box of croissant dropped from the seat table on to the floor, the bus attendant was courteous enough to leave my food there not waking me up like MAS air stewardess (that one was like military flight, wake you up to eat)

9:00pm - Journey was smooth except some indian hipster monkeys joking and chuckling all the way, that was acceptable until some bugger lecturer behind me blabber on the phone for 45minutes (yayaya...we all know you are in education profession and you got lots of professors friends and you work in Nilai)

10:00pm - Reached old KTM station, waited for 20minutes, must to be my buddy missing the wrong turn at Federal Highway again (as always...hehehe)

11:00pm - Bath while buddy prepare Swedish meatballs from Ikea and baby potatoes from Cameron Highlands with gravy, complemented with a can of Asahi beer (I still like Anchor Beer)

11:30pm - Two bachelors, face red made by Asahi, going to sleep soon until one of them said " Do you have a scanner" to my buddy, then the other one look point blank and say "No....Daniel took it to his home"...off we go searching for 7-11 for photocopier machines, found one at Damansara Uptown, and discover a shop next to 7-11 selling nice sneakers at late hours (going there again next time), mind you, there are two 7-11s and two Starbucks in the same block of shop houses...crazy..

12:30pm - Collapsed tired and sleep.

Friday, 29th June

6:30am - Alarm clock ringing, bath, iron shirt and wear tie (not really like wearing a tie, except if a sexy office secretary going to pull me with my tie like they always do in porn)

7:00am - Cousin waiting for me downstairs...still half naked and....rush rush rush.

8:00am - Reach Kajang the satay land after 1 hour of high speed drive, survey the area for the office I am going and after that went for a big breakfast at McDonald's with cousin.

8:50am - Reach Apex's office, its architecture looks modern and contemporary for a 8-10 floor building in sleepy town of Kajang, took me 15 minutes to fill in the form (Father's occupation: Factory worker)

9:10am - Met the Indian lady director, sounded bossy to the secretary but was encouraging and warm to me. Asked if I am interested to take up a research position in PJ office and I say more than anything, she told me to go to PJ office immediately to meet with another boss because he is going for prayers by 12pm

11:00am - Found that building behind MPPJ main office and the A&W outlet I used to go when I was in IBM. Had a good meeting with the Malay boss. 60% of conversation was about capital markets and economics, 40% about religious issue (wahlau..because he saw me filling in "Buddhist" in my application form), it was a pleasant chat anyhow, big cities Malay are more liberal and less narrow minded compared to those from small towns)

12:00am - Hop on to a taxi, trailed a LRT on time and reach Taman Bahagia station. Took a taxi to cousin's place, drop by to visit uncle.

1:30pm - Saekae Sushi at The Curve with cousin again, stomach almost burst for overfilled with Sushis, Teppanyaki Chicken and Green Tea.

3:00pm - Went PJ section 13 digital mall, DVD+R quite cheap, RM1 per piece for a Mitsubishi disc, got 10 piece for my data back up (not porns, MP3 only!)

4:00pm - A quick browse in Ikea (just across The Curve, again!) followed by Starbucks at the Curve, got myself a Java Chip.

5:30pm - Dinner with uncle and both cousins at Damansara Centre Point (but my sushis and wasabi is still undigested)

7:30pm - Reached buddy's place, bath, pack and cabut by 8:00pm

8:30pm - Buddy dragged me to accompany him for dinner near SS2, going to kill him (or tell him to get a girlfriend if he is so lonely in KL, I was worried I couldn't catch a bus)

9:20pm - Alight from LRT at Pasar Seni, usually I take Masjid Jamek station, couldn't find a map (and no time for it) just follow the human crowd and traffic, and trail those with big bags coming against my direction and found my way there)

9:30pm - Got chopped by bloody Chinese ticket conductor, telling me bus is departing immediately and RM35 (Fuck...usually it's RM27, asked why he say "I take extra", my mistake for taking out my RM50 notes too soon)

10:00pm - Bus departs (1/2 hour after he say "departing immediately" and the bus stinks and sucks)

Saturday, 30th June

12:00am - Stopped 1/2 hour at Slim River (shit..something smells fishy)

2:00am - Turn on my phone (shut it off earlier to preserve batt), saw dad's miss call, call him and tell him the bus is running at 10km/h up the slopes at Ipoh (something really fishy here, I thought it was because the bus is old)

3:40am - Reach Juru and waited 1 hour by the toll (people began to got pissed after waiting 20 minutes, now we all know, the bus is waiting for a bus that departed 2 hours later than ourselves from KL to catch up, then rendezvous at Juru, reshuffle the passengers, one bus goes to Butterworth, another going to Penang, a few passengers running out of patience exchanged words with the driver who shout back " Mau pi ah? Kalau mau..tunggu! Sabar lah" I was also pissed, but couldn't do anything.

4:45am - Reach bus station finally, upon alighting, saw some USM officers holding signboards waiting for first time students must had waited for more than 3 hours for those in the same bus at me.

5:00am - Reach home, bath and sleep

9:00am - Wake up and go work (no choice....)

There goes my weekend

Free knowledge (For determined self learners only)

2007-06-24T13:11:00.000+08:00

Boring Sunday afternoon, have to come back to office to count some stupid 8 million pieces of silicone dies in the production floor, stupid, worse still, OT was pretty stingy here, Dell offers x3 during public holidays or weekend, why can't we?

Anyway, since I last blogged about "In Knowledge We Trust" I forgotten to add in one piece of information.

You see, Americans while has been always portrayed as champions of capitalism and individualism, their generosity is second to none among developed nations. You will recall, post World War 2 Europe was built with the Marshall Plan sponsored by the Americans while Asia industrialisation was the effect of American transfer of technology skills.

I mean, nothing comes free right? I'm sure there are alot of hidden agenda behind all the generosity by Uncle Sam, but, you can be assure in general, Americans are generous in their charity especially when disaster stikes.

As you know, MIT is where cream of crops from around the world desperately wanted to get in. One of my high school buddy was one of the brainiest scoring straight As without miss from primary school all the way to college and yet he can only be content to end up with Stanford.

Years back while still in school, I came across this MIT Open Course Ware (OCR)website. In brief, the website host all the educational material that is used by MIT students that you can get for free.

Free? You sure?

Yes, its free! Can you imagine? You don't need to score straight As and yet you can get access to the education materials learned by genius in Massachusetts (George Bush can't pronounce "Massachusetts" correctly until today, he speaks "Meh-Cheh-Chu-Ses).

But bear in mind that, while enthusiastic learners get access to study material, the major reason people goes to a education institution like MIT and Harvard is to interact and be exposed to the liberal thinking environment there that cultivates people to think out of the box instead of our "I do you follow" system here.

Click on link below, and you get access to the courses offered there, from Aeronautics and Space engineering for geeks all the way to Alan Greenspan wannabes in economics.

Not sure Osama is looking for Nuclear Engineering Department.
http://ocw.mit.edu/

I think the way for those who are interested to use this as source of learning, what is needed is

1. An open mind (I hope I have)
2. Question the wisdom behind any explanations (assumptions and fallibility)
3. Determination (I lazy lah most of the time)
4. Self starters (I only learn when need arise, lazy mah)

For spoon fed kiddies, forget it, go look for you pacifiers.

In knowledge we trust

2007-06-22T00:56:00.000+08:00

Erhh....how to start?

I am in essence a lazy bum, I delay things as long as I can, I hardly do my work.

This is especially true during my childhood and schooling years, I hardly concentrate in school and rather play pepsi cola at the corner of the school building that no one will go. I have no interest in maths, handcrafts, electronics, languages, or whatsoever.

But today, I am keen to learn alot of things, still, same problem persist: I can't concentrate ,for a better reason: I am interested in too many things, unfocused.

From experiments of trying to get my pasta fried, to building a water filtration system for my aquarium using from off the shelves items meant for drinking water filter in Tesco, all the way to learning financial maths and understanding how satellite TV works (and also folding paper roses for the ladies, yet till today I can't get it right and no one had received any yet).

So I started to ponder, why humans as progressive species are eager to learn:

1. To achieve individual demand, fulfilling their desire and needs

2. To make the world a little better (can be as simple as learning to fertilize your garden tree, making it 2 inch taller and tell George Bush you are taking action because he refuses to sign the Kyoto Protocol)

Knowledge, what should I do with it? Get a job and get good pay? Or to impress others? Or we can use it for a good cause.

There are two observation I've seen so far on how people manage knowledge:

1. In modern times where individualism had intoxicated the mainstream societies, people became more self fish and over protective of the knowledge they have. (They don't share, afraid people who learned from them will overtake them once themselves)

2. People become lazy and were too comfortable with modern day conveniences (me included) that was the fruit from our ancestors and predecessors' hard work and eagerness to learn. (People these days expect if they want to learn, they can always look for a training or course, all materials provided, aka spoon feeding).

Another instance, I was trying to buy my aquarium a filter to make it a more hygienic place for my little gold fish. I was going to buy a readily made aquarium water filter when I noticed price for drinking water filter components was much cheaper than a China made aquarium filter. (China means cheapest right? Not for aquarium equipments)

A little research also showed ceramics filters are efficient at trapping bacteria and carbon filters are good at neutralizing harmful chemical elements in water. It gave better feature than the ready made aquarium filter made only out of sponge. Well you can argue drinking water is too clean for fish to survive, but gold fish are clean freaks (like me, albeit messy).

Often, prepackaged knowledge like topic focus training courses, highly structured education programs spoon fed us and made us lazy by referring everything only to particular sources of knowledge, like textbooks instead of observing and try to find other answers (also to think outside the box).

Learning knowledge is a thing, applying (using)it is another.

It pisses me off to have people who tell you they want to learn, asking you put in the effort to teach them, and yet not having the attitude to go and experiment and make trial and error as their learning process.

That, I tell them, is not learning, that is masturbating, telling themselves "yeah...I learned something new" when in actual, they know no shit. (I prefer using the masturbate word instead of "cheating yourself").

Eagerness to discover the truth is needed (Can't understand why are guys can be so eager to learn and experiment doggies position while not willing to find out a little more why dragon flies fly low during cloudy and rainy days?)

We need an open mind to learn

It frustrates me like hell when a former colleague asking me to send him a sample of minutes of meeting, telling me he wanted to know what is the right format for one.

I told him in goodwill (and faithfully) there is no one particular format that is "the right format" we need to know the purpose of minutes of meeting.

I sent him a sample anyway, and it drive me nuts for him to say "Thanks, I just want to know the right format" (I feel like smacking his head with my slippers to wake him up.)

By being open minded about a challenge is front of ourselves, we have the capacity to grow. Instead of just rushing to a conclusion, why not think of how to get the best answer for a given situation?

Our education system sucks

Needless to say, it's commonly acknowledged our system follows a learning process that based upon "I do, you follow approach"

For a rebel like me, I always got into trouble opposing the way people wanting me to do things their way. I was always misunderstood as myself looking highly on myself, or thinking myself too smart.

No, it wasn't, I an open to accept other's advice and approaches in doing things in life, but first, let me find out whether there is another way to do it first and let me see for myself what end results I get and which solution is a better one (you need an open mind for that).

This is called liberal education. (I won't send my kid to a school in Singapore or Malaysia next time)

Harness the power of Internet

Surprisingly I found many did not put internet connectivity to a good use. Ladies reading dollies magazines like Cleo, Cosmo while guys surfing for online games and Paris Hilton's porno (me included too!)

A colleague approached me days ago asking me to help "what is SAP CM role?"

Google is on my hand, within minutes, I found out it's content management and it's function in brief was to manage documentations for cross modules.

Some personal experience with Internet I found since 13 (back then I have to pay RM20 per month to use the school's internet for 1 hour a week, at 33kbps connection!)

1. How to make a water pipe bomb
2. International Parity Conditions (this one explains why US$1 can exchange RM3.4)
3. What is a missionary position (at first I thought it was a vacancy in the Vatican until things become a little more explicit)
4. Looking for spare parts for my refrigerator
5. How Magnetic Levitation Train (Maglev) works (find it out at howstuffworks.com

Knowledge in summary:

1. Must put it for good use
2. Can get easily (plenty but need an open mind)
3. Take it, it's yours!

Career crossroad

2007-06-20T23:50:00.000+08:00

Got a call for interview this morning, from a company in securities and investment industry, something I wanted since graduation...finally.

The thing is, I few a little regret to have to leave my current job, I love it for itself allowing to grow lot faster than my peers next door in the finance organization (even i hate the monkeys and assholes around), and the thing I learned is something useful if I were to run a business someday, I also feel regret I haven't learn faster than I should had (I first gave myself 2 years to completely master factory finance, got very lazy at the end however).

On the other hand, I also regret because of myself probably have to let go the advantage I gained from my educational background.

It started earlier this evening while driving out for late night newspaper. He mentioned to me if I can understand one system, I can easily understand others, SAP, Oracle, BAAN..etc..you name it. I told him "Well, it helps if you have a IT background" he replied "yes.."

Being a double major in Finance and Information System, while weak in accounting, I have the edge of having the best world. In any modern corporation's finance organization, you crunch and digest numbers and to do that you get data from Information Systems like SAP's R3 or Oracle's ERP.

What differentiate yourself from you accounting peers is that, they see things from a book keeper stand point, while you see things from a banker, investor(owner) or maybe CFO stand point (shit....before I join, I always use "perspectives" and "point of view", they corrupted me with this "stand point" word)

Information system wise If you found anything wrong with you financial numbers, you got to get it from your information systems like an ERP, and if you know IS, you can diagnose (with Helpdesk experts' help) which area or module of the system that gave you the wrong numbers and fix it. That is the edge I had over my peers who came from a pure accounting background (they often struggle to look in the system).

Now that I decided it's time to move on to the high flying corporate finance / investments world, my IT background will no longer be as relevant as before, it's something that's going to be wasted, how can I utilize what I learned from my first job after I change my profession into high flying finance? I'll need time to find out.

On the positive side, I feel consoled that I had work in this job (and love it even though it's does not fit into my long term career aspiration).

I was weak in accounting and this job got me patched up that hole. Accounting is something fundamental but not crucial in high flying finance and I only studied accounting 100 in school.

I also learn the basic concepts of how people calculate the cost of making goods. The other 2 areas I didn't get to learn -

1. How to price your goods that you are going to sell your customer (my factory is a cost center, not a Profit & Loss center, technically speaking, the factory will always make money because they sell the goods to the grand daddy in America who owns the same factory at the first place).

2. How people calculate the cost of providing a service (but hey...this is factory that only make goods, unless you are like IBM whose business is service oriented)

And best of all, for a young 23 year old rebel in the factory he can kick asses around and slam people with emails or argue all the way to the MD's office. because most of the veterans employees are former co worker of his dad, he can get access to some big shots in America and around the world within the same company. That my friend, is called "leverage" (while he tries to stay low profile).

Overall, if you ask me how I feel if I were to leave the company tomorrow,
nothing much to feel reluctant about.

Apart from saying:

1. Screw the assholes old aunties and ass kissing uncle in the accounting organization next door. (They love to put on monkey shows)

2. Fuck those impotent, Vigra needing, white hair covered old engineers clinging on their 22 years old (average) rice bowl

3. Say "Nah Beh" to the self promoting and glorifying uncle who runs the factory (in one instance, he become a philosopher with his own quotes trying to mimic people like George Washington or Martin Luther King...but brader.....you are lightyears away from their standard, they don't buy a second hand fridge to save 4000 bucks)

Only 3 reasons that makes me feel reluctant:

1. I will miss my friends alot (technically speaking, everyone is my colleague in my workplace but i differentiate some as friends from colleagues. )

2. I will miss my PC and my cube number 43 (reason being I am the first owner, that's why I say I am over sentimental)

3. I love my job (because it allows me to learn alot of relevant knowledge in finance, not just the boring debit and credit, I hope my successor will love it too and do a better job than myself)

p.s. Someone aunty in mid life crisis was being sarcastic to me this afternoon saying I think I am too smart. No, in fact I'm not, academically I am average, except I am more observant and information absorbing with an open mind, yes, open mind is all you need, you close minded aunty...

How shoud she be cursed? hmm...bingo...maybe she accidentally get pregnant with quadruplets at the age of 60, then her new borns will be younger than her grandson.

Rainy days

2007-06-18T22:59:00.000+08:00

Too bad I am too broke to get a new phone with a 2megapixel cameras, if not I could had snap alot of spontaneous shots.

Rainy days....I love rainy days, especially when it's pouring and thundering. As I listen to the rainy voice, it brings peace and serenity. The more it thunders, the safer I feel in my home sweet home, that's still a DNA embedded inside me, probably inherited from my great ancestors since stones and cavemen age eh?

Yup, its true, the more it rains the safer I feel I am in my home, and more often, I will open my window a little to breath the fresh air brought in by the winds, cleaned by rain drops.

12 years ago in 1995, Penang had its worst flood in years, that morning I wake up as I did routinely and boarded my bus at 6.30am. My journey to school in town was blockade by the flood water around the state mosque area, after a few futile attempts to by pass the flood, the bus driver drove us home. Reaching home at 8 in the morning, and wet after running in rain for 500 meters to my apartment, I got a hot shower and guess what? I change back into my pajamas and hid inside my blanket, reading my favorite Dragon Ball Comic, episode 42 where Goku manage to destroy the villain, episode 42 was the last chapter in the series, my little brother still keep it today.

Eesssh....that feeling....where u woke up expecting a boring day at school, then suddenly you got a suprise that you can head home and it's raining....damn....that was the nicest experience I have for my entire 23 years of life as at today.

Rain rain....don't go away, come more often.

Rainy days in Perth gave me an adverse feeling however, because I live not in a home, just a rented house, and no family, I was pretty moody during cloudy days or when winter rains come, and walking alone on the water soaked streets hearing water splashes as car drive by will amplify that lonely feeling...haa...

Visualizing that scene now, reminds me of my buddies in Perth, that Hakka Moi - YW who was my best companion ever for my 3 years of life there, my landlord cum house mate Ah Neh.

Once it was 2-3am midnight, freezing cold winter, three of us had our supper at Northbridge (the de facto China Town of Perth) and a damn car drive passes splashing the water onto us (can you believe it? I only saw that incident happened on TV prior to that).

There was a moment of silence, YW was lucky to cover herself with an umbrella, myself and Ah Neh was totally wet, I looked at Ah Neh's face looking pissed (but really funny) and I saw YW was looking at us with her innocent eyes, at the edge of bursting out laughing.

Simultaneously, myself and Ah Neh starting swearing and yelling at that car...all the Malaysian words you can think of, father mother vocab included...hahaha.....at the end, when aneh driving us home in his cozy Holden Barina, we laughed all the way till home....

Ah Neh and YW....I miss them so much....ah...to be frank, I was a lonely guy without many real friends during those years, most are either house mate relation ship or the type you say "hi" and "bye", they were the only two true friends that gave me great companion.

I also recall my high school buddy Yu Chien and myself walking at night under the cold sizzling rain dust in Melbourne without umbrella (cool eh?I only cover my head with the hood of the bright red color Jay Jay's jumper).

That was Winter 2004, I was having vacation in Melbourne as I was afraid of being lonely at home, Winter was lonely because it's holiday, that was the first year after the break up and most of the students went home.

We had a good chat while waling, having not meeting each other for years, we walked from his apartment near Lygon Street, cutting horizontally through Swanston Street, Melbourne University (where he studies) and Elizabeth Street using all the shortcuts and alleys and finally reaching Sydney Road, board a Tram and headed north to a Malaysian Indian restaurant, we had Roti Canai and Teh Tarik that night (a precious thing in Australia). He was a scholar with Sime Darby but he decided not to return to Malaysia, settling down in Melbourne today.

Everywhere I went, while I was lonely, I felt fortunate to always have true friends and companion whenever I was in need during those adolescence and heartache years. I really appreciate friendship I had with many, real friendship when I was in need.

As at today, I always maintained that I don't expect everyone to like me, and I couldn't be bothered if people hate me, as long as I have a few quality true friends wherever I go, I am happy with it.

If I have a glass of wine to toast with tonight, then, it shall be for my dearest friends (including those not mentioned here, those mentioned here are because rains reminded me of them, I am too sentimental).

And as years passes by, I notice there is a common characteristic among people I befriended with, they are warm, hospitable and caring friends (even though everyone has some bad traits, including myself, but no one's perfect eh?)

Couldn't help thinking, am I too lucky to have them?

p.s. Aneh real name is Suneil, just I always tease him as Aneh because he is an Indian and he was absolutely sporting with it.

Restless

2007-06-18T01:37:00.000+08:00

Not a very good Sunday I had. Had been restless, can't concentrate to study, can concentrate when playing games. I know why.

Some unwanted baggage from the past had pop up last night in dreams.

And this evening, while gulping water, flushing though my throat, some scenes of unwanted past flash suddenly across my vision.

Vision is what you see in mind, sights are with eyes.

I guess that's the price you pay for pictorial memory (not sure whether I have it, also known as elephant memory, detail to the level you can still remember the clothing people wearing or hearing noise of a bus roaming pass your ears)

Pictorial memory, was it a blessing or was it curse?

mine....I remember more than pictorials and visuals, it comes with other senses and how they feel when you last touched, smell and hear something.

No doubt it's cool when you can remember at one particular moment the scenery you've seen, the topics you conversed to other, the smells of you smell, the textile people wear, but it's quite a suffer if you remember things that you don't want to - from childhood, to adolescence and maybe at the age of 70, will be remembering unhappy past of adulthood.

So..no point to keep looking back to the unhappy past and listening to music that will reminds you of that.

Time to meditate.

No doubt the monk had told me, unhappy past will always come back once in a while to your mind, like a wave.

Unlike the past where I can only sit there a lame duck moaning and mourning, I am in control - meditation.....

Feeling good today

2007-06-12T00:24:00.000+08:00

Wah....today is a nice day, never feel better than ever actually, it's 12:24 pm and I am still waiting for myself to stop sweating after doing a last minute mopping before going to rest.

Forget about work, never been happy with my work (and will not be, as long as those assholes and the dump accountant are around). Had an argument with my boss actually, for him, he acknowledge that the practice we do our work is not easy to change, especially with those old (probably impotent and needs Viagra) white haired engineers.

For me it's simple, those bunch of old wood, they are not going change if you be soft with them, chances are they won't change either if you are tough with them, they are like old rubber, dried, decayed and inflexible, unadaptable.

I prefer my former boss style, slam them hard if they cross the line, ignore them if they don't come across, they live their life, we live ours. But for this softie boss of mine, oh damn it....ask me to map out the process, identify the process flow, identify a process owner for each process, communicate with the people and sure they will listen...oh come one dude...don't be so naive, it's not a question of they don't understand the work, it's purely they don't want to, and like me I couldn't be bothered to "communicate" with them, in my eyes, they are just bunch of junks waiting for their time to be scrap. (Don't meant to be harsh, I mean, I will be old like them someday but I will definitely do something more meaningful in life than those old folks clinging onto their rice bowl job).

Forget about work, couldn't be bothered about it once the clock pass 5:15pm.

Anyway, I had a self fulfilling evening.

Fetched my bro to tuition at 6pm, then went dinner with a friend, she asked me to helped her change her lamp igniter of her room since her boyfriend is in KL and she stays alone. After that reach home and spent an hour studying, managed to finish CFA curriculum chapter 47 - Capital Budgeting, then did a quick mop on the floor and now...ready to bath and sleep.

For many months, this is first time I feel my life in one ordinary evening is not wasted.

Plan to wake up at 6 to continue some studies too.

12:35AM now, ciao...going to read "Purpose of Life" before I sleep, managed to get the hard copy from my friend who got it during Wesak. Got to read it from time to time to remind myself I have to serve my life with a purpose, a purpose larger than myself :D

Oh....how much I love my life...

Clean freak

2007-06-12T00:12:00.000+08:00

Oh damn....I think I have the symptom of being a clean freak.

Some symptoms

1. Must bath before sleep, even if it's 5AM in the morning
2. Brush teeth before losing conscious everyday (even if it's just a 1/2 hour nap)
3. Floss teeth every time after brushing
4. Cut my nails whenever it's 1mm longer than my finger tip
5. Scrub my foot everyday (eewww....only girls do that I think)
6. Mop the floor on average twice or thrice a week
7. Rinse my lips and surrounding facial area after meal
8. Change clothes minimum 3 piece a day (my mom is going nuts)
9. Wash my air con dust filter even if it's not filled with dust
10. Can't sit still if seeing dirty dishes in sink (always feel like cekik my bro, and end up I have to wash it still)

Oh damn....sounds girlish...and scary...I wasn't who I was 4-5 years ago....I wonder why..

Sales job

2007-06-09T04:35:00.000+08:00

I used to considered a career in sales / business development when I was in the mid term of my tertiary education. I was influenced by the guys I met in IBM sales office, those are top notch salesmen who are really refined social animals, they know how to talk in public, they know the right words and sentences to use, they know all the public relation stunts, and they are persuasive.

Sales guys may not be good looking, but they definitely are charismatic.

No, I am not referring to those direct salesmen trying to sell you kiddies sing-along books or Amway supplementary pills. I am referring to those sales guys in the technological industry, doing corporate sales.

Somehow, the 2 months attachment in IBM really taught me much about communication skills and confidence in socializing. Over the years, I refine and polish my public speaking skills and learned the skills of persuading. (They gave me a good start that I always score high in presentations subsequently).

On top of the glamor of meeting high profilers and all the grand parties, sales guys really have fat commission in their pay slips too. One top sales guy I know in my dad's company make USD100,000 per quarter, and that's purely commission alone, excluding base salary, allowances, incentive / motivation rewards....

Back then, I was really idolizing those top sales guys and I already decided sales will be my career for life.

Towards the end of my final semester however, on one hot summer evening inside a Abacus computer lab, I abandoned that inspiration.

I started to think for a job direction which will test my intellectual limits, rather than just making money. I thought of trying financial industry, I wasn't sure back then what specialization in financial industry I want to be in, maybe investment banking, maybe fund management, maybe...lots of maybe...(the job I am in today is not even near to what I wanted)

In reality, I think I will do better in a sales career, its something natural for me to talk to people, and when money is at stake, who really cares what you talk, your emotions, your dignity, as long as you can persuade your client to give you business, bingo! There goes your paycheck...

And in reality, I think I will make a lousy career in accountancy, above average in investments and a better sales person.

But no, at the end of the day, I found many guys who started their career in sales at the age nearing retirement still talking to people trying to make more commissions.

I would want some skills learned from a profession that I can use for my own benefits
when I am not working, I found finance and economics something beneficial that will last forever in one's life. How can I live without money?

And how on earth is there a job that challenge your intellectual capacity and at the same time teaches you how to manage money? Finance and economics!

At the same time, I prefer to be dignified, rather than faking it out enjoying drinking with clients whom you only see "$$$" signs on their face.

But I do love most aspect of sales life, you get to meet interesting people and you get to interact with people rather than computers.

It's a decision based upon the philosophy of forcing myself out from my comfort zone.

To be true, it's easier for me to just talk to people and get fat pay check than to sit in front a PC, analyzing numbers, plotting graphs, interpreting financial statements and constructing investment strategies and portfolios.

But I hope I can still get to polish my skills in sales and business development someday. I was hoping the day my buddy setting up his own creative studios, I would love to volunteer and help him out in the sales aspect.

Whatever we do in life, we must first understand that we do what we love doing :)

I love my job (and my life).

5:13AM, time to sleep....there goes my Friday night..haa...

p.s. My PC login password in office was "IL0veMyJ0b" until recently because it expired and I have to put in a new password.

Taegukgi - Brotherhood of War

2007-06-03T14:01:00.000+08:00

Haven't watch any movies like this for years that is as touching as this one, not any typical action movie full of explosions and fires you see in Hollywood.

The show is pretty emotional. It revolved around 2 brothers and their family torn apart by the Korean war. The younger brother was conscripted into the Korean War and the elder brother eager to protect and take care of the brother, joined the ranks reluctantly and made the ultimate sacrifice to keep his brother alive and send him home.

Nice movie, it won the best film award during the 50th Asia Pacific Film Festival, who wouldn't agree with an award? Should it was filmed in English for the US audience, it could has easily won an Oscar.

The show somehow mimics Steven Spielberg's Saving Private Ryan, except this one is even more emotional than the former.

In Saving Private Ryan, Tom Hanks and his company was trying to keep one young soldier Ryan alive to go home and see his mom whose other 3 sons were already killed in a war. Tom Hanks and co did that out of compassion.

The young sibling in Taegukgi was the pride and hope for the family, he was expected to be the first from the family to go college, the mother broke her back working and the brother shine shoes to send the brother to school. In Taegukgi, everything Jang Dong Gun did as an elder brother was out of love for his young sibling.

You need empathy to really appreciate the movie. It's probably a little hard for ladies to understand the movie,as it was quite centered around males chauvinist mentality. Korean males are extremely chauvinist and for a chauvinist like me, it pretty easy to understand.

Any loving brother would had done the same.

I smiled and sighed as I typed until here, putting myself in the elder brother's shoe. Who on earth who is sane, isn't afraid of death and killings? But when it happened to someone dear to you, then there shouldn't be any doubt what you will do. I guess it's something that can only be understood by an elder child in a family.

The producers have a good hand to play with people's emotion. They blended in some composer music which really will sink your heart from the start when the show began telling the story 50 years after the war happened, a team of archaeologist excavate out some body remains from the ground. The show ended at the same venue where the younger sibling broke into tears in front the ground where the remain was found.

The show also serve its purpose to remind people, regardless of which ideology you believe in, Communist, Democracy etc, reality of war is cruel, at the end of the day, humans are commune animals, bind together by compassion, love and friendship. Not sure Uncle Bush will understand this when he says "You're either with us or against us" In the one part of the show, when the South Korean soldiers wanted to execute captured Communist soldiers, Won Bin the younger brother shield them and say "If we kill them, we are not worse, not better than the north, not better, not worse"

Thumbs up for the show, already keeping it into my movie collection list. I think this show will still be nice to watch 50 years from now, assuming human mentality did not turned into more selfish souls.

Rob Thomas - Little Wonders

2007-05-27T02:56:00.000+08:00

Damn, this is the worst music you can play at this hour at near 3AM, but I love it.

Its tune really provokes that kind of empty and helpless feeling of a lonely soul.

It's something comparable to Cold Play's "In My Place". Really reminds me of the lonely days cruising in car around KL at midnight without direction and playing that music on the car audio(yeah, that's what lonely blokes does.)

Love it because it's good, too good a song to provoke that lonely feeling, that's why it spoils my mode, reminds me of the sad and lonely days.

Nah....it's alright, a friend reminded me what I had always thought of, those were adolescence days - new environment, lonely, breaking up, it grows me better, that was an opportunity not everyone can get to focus into our own internal feelings and thoughts, and overcoming our deepest fears - lonely and helpless.

The days of being alone - night jogging, taking bus, walk at the park, wander the city makes me pondered alot, how can you imagine a lonely soul doing that for near to 4 years?

And I had often wake up in the middle of the night thinking of my ex.

4 years later, am I still lonely? Yes I am, sometimes I enjoy it, to certain extent.

What did I learned from that 4 years?

Can I get rid of loneliness? No I can't, forever no one can, but I learn to live with it.

Will getting a girlfriend helps? No, it only distracts myself temporary from facing that question of loneliness (that's why many feel something amiss in their life even if married)

Work? That's a distraction too, I'll feel miserable and bored on the evening after handing in all my assignments that I worked continuously for weeks and 48 hours before it's due. I probably will not know too what to do with life the first day after my 55 years old retirement age.

Love ones? That's my shelter, I learned to appreciate family being the most important thing I have (amid the most boring thing in life).

Huhhh...life is helpless isn't it? It's up to ourself, what to do with our life (and soul)

Crap, it's pretty hard to sum up all my 4 years of thoughts within one short blog in 30 minutes, 3:30AM now, ZzzZZZzzz time, ciao!

p.s. Shit....those government sensor boards instead of just rating media presentations into Violence/ Sexual - Not Suitable for minors, why not rate this song as Sorrow/Sad - Not suitable for the lonely hearts?

Norah Jones - Come Away With Me

2007-05-09T02:09:00.000+08:00

Ah...2:13AM....just finished doing some studies and washed my face. Need to go to work in 5 hours time but it's ok, I got some late evening sleep early for 2 hours.

I came to know Norah Jones and this album "Come Away With Me" back in early 2003 when I was still a student in Perth.

I must say that off all songs and artist I've known, I love Norah Jones best. I bought her original album and that was the first original CD that I bought (I only buy CD that I really really like).

To begin, Come Away With Me defined its own style by not being a typical Jazzy album, it's a blend of folk, blues, and country music. Jones, being daughter of famous Indian composer Ravi Shankar, naturally have the touch in setting her own style and tune compared to other blues / Jazz singer.

If you ask me to compile a list of music that I like most, many of Norah Jones' track will be in the list, with the top song being "Come Away With Me".

That song always brought back the sentimental feelings and memories.

I recall watching its MTV alone at Friday midnight of late summer on a couch in a dimmed lighting environment in that small cozy townhouse that I used to stay.

I also recall walking on the cozy neighborhood of a Sydney suburb or early morning being blown gently by the cooling Autumn breeze with a friend I no longer contact.

Cozy and sentimental, that's the 2 word to describe the song.

I just love the album.

Other nice track that I like includes: Don't Know Why, Shoot The Moon, One Flight Down and Lone Star.

Khunie went to shopper paradise - Bangkok (Day2)

2007-05-05T19:37:00.000+08:00

We were quite exhausted that night, so we wake up quite late, around 10am. Tony told us to relax, if we were too rush, then that would had spoil the trip. We had a quick breakfast at the hotel and off we go to Siam Paragon, dubbed as one of the biggest malls in Asia (If not biggest). Cost us around 600 Baht to get there.

On the way there, I get to experience first hand how driving conditions in downtown Bangkok is, hell, if that is in Malaysia, they would had been labeled as tailgating..impressed by their driving skills kekeke. Anyhow, taxi everywhere were Toyota Corolla Altis, see? That's the power of an industry being liberalized consumer get good choice of product quality and price, while we in Malaysia still have to pay hefty for a inferior Protong which power windows malfunction 2nd being drove out from the dealer, headlights submerged in rain water that found way into the hood...etc...grr...Protong is a failure...admit it.

Contrary to what I expected, I didn't had any grand impression towards the mall from far (I didn't even notice that we had arrived when the taxi stops). The mall is surrounded by concrete jungles of SkyTrain tracks as well as high rise buildings around it. (Unlike KLCC where you recognize the Twin Towers even before you reach.

Once I step into the mall....first impression was good, I was fascinated with the interior design. There were lots of international food outlets in there, Swensens, Aunty Anns etc. So we took some photo at the food hall area.

As we proceed to floor 2 and floor 3, all the exotic brands are concentrated there, Chanel, Mont Blanc, Panerai, IWC, Louis Vutton, Martha Stewart....you name it, they got it, those brands are what I usually seen only on lifestyle magazines....fuiyo.....but I was attracted towards the interior design of those outlets...wah......must admit it...Thais are really good in interior design (especially those local operated outlets, I suspect Thais designed for them). So my camera got very busy (and eventually run out of battery and it's only day 1)

There were quite a handful of outlets selling unique merchandises. Over there, I found the piggy again, this time at a more reasonable price (While I can get it cheaper outside, but its reasonable to me). I also got a diary which cover made of grass straw cross stitched for my buddy. Overall, the Thais shop assistants were very polite to us compared to those shuttlecocks shop assistants in KLCC. Each time we bought something or walk into a shop, we were greeted with a clapped hand, a gentle nod and a soft little bow. (Eh...I am not Buddha lah, why show me that gesture?)

We were to spend the next 6 hours in that mall. (And my foot hurts).

An unexpected scene inside Paragon Department Store: sheer size of its lingerie department....fuiyo.... the ladies were to spend 1 hour in that area.

We had our lunch at Chillis Restaurant (Not the Chillis we all know from US, they serve north Thailand food). The meal was good and fuissh...there was one very beautiful Thai lady next to our table dining with her mom and grandma...wah...give her facial figure, I was sure that she is a Thai ethnic Chinese and can safely assume she is from a well to do family (the grandma and mother were wearing jeweleries and classy textile). Too bad I didn't got the balls to walk over and say "Sui Jing Jing" to her (and expect a slap, that means "beautiful girl").

Over the lunch, I get to absorbed some ideas of simple dishes, first white steamed chicken with lemon grass, ginger, chinese cooking wine and garlic and another would be a small serve of blended ice drink which was sour and sweet (I suspect it was made of strawberry puree, syrup, lemon juice or maybe sparkling juice replacing the syrup)

Next, we took a ride to Pratunam market area for a massage. Needless to say, I was quite reluctant to be honest, but I wanted to relax my stiff muscles. That was the first time I myself being served delicate, water, towers being brought to you with the waiter kneeling in front you, I was embarrassed for being well served, I am more used to self service.

God damn it....kena massage by a guy.....haiyor.....chia lat leh...frankly, I also scarred that fella is a gay, at one point of time he stretch my body like Mr Elastic in Fantastic 4 and almost burst out laughing...fuiyo...

After massage, we left for Khao San, en-route our hotel to drop our stuffs (got into a not so happy incident, before we board the taxi, we asked him whether he knows the location of our hotel, he just say "come come, okok, ended up we were stuck in a jam for 30 minutes in rush hour traffic down town bangkok, we decided to alight the taxi and have a walk in another shopping complex, not bad lah...get to see first hand the Dutch made Spyker C2 sports car Sharon Stone drove in Basic Instinct 2)

Moment I step down from Khao San....basically you see dirty, messy, smelly, singlet wearing Caucasians everywhere, and Japanese too.....that place reminds me of a pirate nest like in pirates of Caribbean, from vices like alcohol, weeds and girls to street performance and all the way to pirated goods.

You must be amazed by the Thais' enterprising spirit, they not only sell tangible pirated stuffs like fake Swatches and CK Jeans, they also pirate intellectual property these days, MP3 uploads to your iPod on the spot, 30 Baht for 10 songs, or you can compile your own CD from their list of music collection, literally there are thousands of songs you can choose from. The Thais I found, have good taste for western musics, nice music they play doesn't always follows the billboard.

I didn't get much from Khao San, except for a bottle of Singha beer, surprisingly smoother than our Tigers and Anchors. The ladies got themselves some flowerish, sunshine looking Bikinis (question is, will they wear it in Batu Ferringhi?)

Anyhow it was an eye opening experience (off course, with numbers of hot urban Japanese ladies posing sexily by the street smoking, almost nose bleed to death, joking)

We ended the night after exhausting our body, and my foot started to feel pain after days of walking...hai...anyway...Bangkok, Bangkok, nice place to shop for things, be it luxury or exotic the goods may be, I love Bangkok.

French Presidency Election

2007-05-05T16:56:00.000+08:00

au revoir Jacque Chirac (Sounds like Shiraz to me.....drooling for one)

Actually, I couldn't care less about European's politics, but it strikes me on CNN with this lady Ségolène Royal contending for French's presidency. Fuiyo....at the age of 54 she maintained it well leh....quite beautiful and classy for her age (argh....French ladies..)

One of the highly debated topic with his opponent Nicholas Sarkozy was about economic growth.

In essence, both have in mind what kind of policy they will formulate to stimulate growth.

Ségolène in trying to woo voters promises a 35 hours working week (meaning if I start work at 8am, I go home at 3pm...wahlau...syok lor). Her rational behind this was the proposition "Quality of Life", the logic goes: When French people get more personal time to spend with their family, this will encourage consumptions which will directly stimulates growth as well as improve workers productivity"

Needless to say Nicholas have a vice versa policy for growth.

You see Ségolène, I would have voted for you at the first place for how you look(if I eat bread with Marmalade and I am citizen of France), problem is, your policy is nuts.

France being notoriously lousy in workers productivity, with a 35 hour working week, are going to plunge into a nation of....what?

Imagine you got 2 countries, Hardworking country and Honeymoon country. And each countries only make French Fries and Hotdogs, both countries only have a population of 2 and assume there are no exotic words like income distribution disparity.

And the third country Mushiland that makes 10 pornos DVD a month.

So in one particular month, Hardworking country makes 10 hot dogs and 10 French fries, so the 2 countryman in hardworking country get to eat a total of 20 hot dogs and French fries. But food nutritionist recommended they only need 6 hotdogs and 6 french fries, so they exchange 1 each out of the extra 4 hot dogs and 4 sausage left with Mushiland in return for 2 pornos DVD.

In honeymoon country, in that month, because the beautiful president tell them to only work 35 hours a week, so they manage to only make 3 sausage and 3 hotdogs, but they are seriously in malnutrition (remember human need 6 hot dogs and french fries to survive?), so they have to borrow extra 3 sausage and 3 hotdogs from Hardworking country. But since the president insist on "quality of life" they borrow another porn DVD from Mushiland.

Got the illustration?

Eventually when French productivity is not up to competition, they will end up being a debtor nation. (America is one but demand for American's assets is high for now, they can afford it for some time to come dude)

So in 20-30 years time, if France follow that route, I won't be surprised that Taukeh Cina or Apu Neh Neh CEO in Hyderabad owns alot of that country's asset. So your Peugeot, LV, Channel maybe French made but it's owned by others.

Maybe that French beautiful tante (Aunty) can read Michael Porter's book on economy competition (Not Harry Porter) or maybe "The World is Flat" with the foreword "Eat the food fast if you have it, if not the kids in China and India will eat it" kekekeke

volonté vous dormez avec moi?? (Will you sleep with me?) kekekeke

Khunie went to shopper paradise - Bangkok (Day1)

2007-05-02T16:42:00.000+08:00

Aiya..actually it has been two weeks since I flew there to be in precise, to be frank, if I got the money, I think Bangkok is a shopper paradise.

Day 1:

12:30pm - Left in a hurry to airport after rushing to submit my accounting entries to that shared service next door, had lunch with friend at Nandos airport.

2:00pm - My travel mates arrived, check in and and off we go to KL LCCT (Low Cost Carrier Terminal), damn, it was a bumpy take off, you can tell the pilot is kaki baru (Low cost mah, hire newbie to pilot cheaper)

2:55pm - Touch down at KL LCCT, walauleh....really low low cost, basic amenities and infrastructure. We have to disembark via staircase to the tarmac and walk into the terminal, umbrella will be provided in case it rains (Hey, president Bush also have to disembark via staircase from Air Force One and walk down on his own mah)

3:30pm - Hell stuffy the air is in LCCT (maybe want to save air con electricity bill, low cost mah) decided to wait out side and air outside was cooler (pouring heavily out there)

4:30pm - Another travel mate catch up with us in LCCT, so now we are waiting

5:00pm - Still waiting, this time inside McDonalds

6:00pm - When will we fly?

6:15pm - PA announced we are ready to go (But I didn't see any plane)

6:30pm - Oh here comes the plane (and shit, it's carrying passengers from Bangkok, once they disembark, we board the same plane 10 minutes later, I thought the plane was just finished being refreshed in its hanger, hell no, it just fly again 1/2 hour later after it touches down)

6:55pm - Fly liao Fly liao

7:55pm (Bangkok local time) - Reached don't know what sawadeekap airport,Suvarnabhumi Airport (Palinese language is so hard to read, derived from Sanskrit).

Not bad, at least they got aerobridge this time, need not walk at the tarmac again, first thing after disembark, saw this familiar thing - Cisco IP phone, exactly same thing in office, aiyo.....tried so hard to not think of work liao...

Overall Bangkok airport is so much efficient compared to KLIA (and its architecture and interior design gives more sense of pragmatism compared to the former, you know lah, Malaysia, kerja tak buat, gaya mesti ada)

8:15pm - Things tensed up a little, hotel didn't send us a transport as arranged, my mates got pissed, so hop on a Isuzu pickup wagon taxi.

One mate who seated in front talking weird English with that local taxi driver....liang jing jing, sui jing jing....king kong kiang kiang..when asked about his name, he told the taxi driver his name is "Tony Cha" depict from the famous Hong Kong mahjong movie. We all tried our best to hold our laughter behind the front seat.

8:55pm - Reached our hotel, it's called Bangkok City Suite, mangkok, mangkok

9:30pm - Off we go again after a brief bath, we are heading towards Suan Lum nigh bazaar (Was wearing old and fading color clothes on purpose, so that I don't look outstanding)

9:50pm - 11:30pm
Reached there, lots of things to see, the handcrafts are pretty good, mind you the air inside the bazaar are stuffy.

House decors, apparels, toys, etc etc, you can conclude there from the start (Malaysia has nothing to offer other that Congkaks and Petronas Twin Towerpewter to sell)

Bought myself 2 nice CD, Bossa & Roses and Bossa & Medley, nice remix of Gun and Roses, Bob Medley songs with Brazillian Jazz. Hell, the shop selling the CD while small, the music CDs are unique and sounds really smoothening and serenading, can hardly find that kind of easy listening music in Malaysia. Malaysians are too obsessed with those wild party remixes.

One of my mates got themselves a pair of leather slippers for 180 Bahts (Regret I didn't buy it at the first place) then we came across a stor.

Saw this handcraft shop that sells those wind twister things, among them a flying pig that was so cute.

With a broken English, I asked "How much?"

Shop keeper: 600 Bahts

Myself (smiling warmly): That's a nice thing, Thank You!

Shop keeper: Come, I can give you discount, I can do it for you...(see you dude, I don't bargain for petty stuff, it's take it or leave it)

11pm: We walked over the food court to fill our tummy, I ordered a plate of Thai styled Hor Fun, I see it in shock when a local next to me pouring loads of sugar and chilli powder onto his Pad Thai (Thai fried noodle).

I ordered a Mango shake, wahlau......at anytime there are 5-6 young teenager girls in short skirts wooing customers. No wonder that Sam Vulkevich told it breaks his heart to go Bangkok, so he prefer to come Penang.

We ended the night after the supper.

Purpose of life - Part 1

2007-05-01T02:17:00.000+08:00

I came across this little booklet while surfing the net looking for info and past work of Dr K.Sri Dhammananda (chief priest of Malaysia Buddhist society who past away last year).

The booklet I found provided some pragmatism and realist guidance to reader on answering the question of the purpose of life.

Nah...I'm not preaching a religion here. I am in essence a free thinker but my past experience and pessimism view towards the world had led me to find out that there is one religion called Buddhism which teaching coincides with my view and provided satisfactory explanation to myself whenever I am in doubt.
By the way, real Buddhism teaching follow of doctrine of question and analysis, contrary to what many Chinese followers do of prayers for safety, health, wealth etc.

Following are just purely my view that I came to realize on my own way before I started to read Buddhism literature.

I can conclude that as human civilization advances, most of humans in modern society had essentially not question and answer the biggest question of life: What is the purpose for ourself being born into this world?

Those who questioned it had answered in different ways, be it from notorious philosophers, to religious preachers. I can safely say for those answers whom I found make sense, at least 90% of those did not question where there is such question from the start.

Other people found comfort in religions like Christianity and Islam that promises an after life or heaven.

Irregardless of whether your are a Christian, Jew, Muslim, Buddhist or Hindu or how that religion answers us, essentially all human started with a fear word - a fear of death and subsequently a fear of uncertainty derived from it.

It is fear of death that evolved humans survival mentality since stone age, where our ancestors fight for survival be it learning to make weapons, start a fire, find shelter or use of medicine.

As civilization progress, we found that our fear of death are progressively being answered with improved survival techniques and technological inventions.

I am one of the lucky generations born without the need to struggle for survival, everything has now been taken care now. Despite of technological advancement and no immediate threat of deaths, we all cannot deny or avoid from the fact that you and I, one day will be nothing more than chemical compounds degraded into Ammonia, Calcium, Proteins composites in our graveyards (well, if I choose cremation, then I will only be calcium left).

And so, lucky people like my generation, I found, many feel empty and something missing in their heart and soul, despite having all the material possession or all the attention they can possibly get from people around them.

What's wrong?

Because now that generation of mine have came out from survival mode, we don't know what to do with our life.

For my grandparents and parents generation growing up in poverty and war era, the question is not about the purpose of life, rather it's "How do I survive?", the fear of death was there but their environment had perplexed them from the longer term question of purpose of life.

Basically they are just hoping to live another day and their goal is just to think of tomorrow's food, clothes and shelter for survival.

Now that for myself, I know tomorrow and few months or years down the road, the chances of myself being deprived of food and shelter is pretty small, I know I will survive for quite some time, so my essential question pops up, purpose of life.

I will die someday, when the day come, what will happen to me?

Freaky...but over the years of adolescence I think I found my direction.

I work on an assumption that my life will be like a blank paper.

Eventually its chemical compound will decay slowly into a yellowish, fragile piece of paper and eventually it become ashes of carbon compounds.

In between the burning, I can just commit into indulgence and vices, let it be wasted a paper.

Or I can continuously improve myself, enhance my knowledge, enrich myself spiritually and emotionally and render services to human civilization, all written down on that white paper before it vanishes.

It's all up to our choice, we can decide how do we want to do with our life.

For better or worse, it is sad that all of what I will like or enjoy in life - e.g. Panerais and Aston Martins will come to an end (or an end can be a relief, depending which side are you at)

When I am old and sick, needed to be admitted to an old folks home, I think I can accept that, because my existence is not important, what matters to me more is that I had helped to make life better for others.

If it is destined that I shall be a single, old bachelor guy with only a dog as my best friend through out my age to 70, I think I will be ok with it.

Life after all is not all about possessions, it's how to make good use of life.

Catch and Release

2007-04-15T17:50:00.000+08:00

Went to Gurney to watch this show last night. At first I intended to watch Mr Bean Goes To Holiday but only 2 tickets left in the front row, out of no choice, I took this show (Idiot GSC, showing so many horror films at that night)

Surprisingly, the show was a heartening and nice one.

Synopsis of the story tells Jennifer Garner as a small town girl whose fiancés died in an accident. 2 of her house mates took care of her and try to cheer her up from time to time.

Her fiancés' buddy working together in LA was in town. Jennifer wasn't sure why his buddy was in town other than flirting with girls during his funeral and sleeping in his fiancés' room. She were soon to found out that her fiancés had a child in LA and had been sending them money monthly and his fiancés' buddy was actually trying to clean up the mess and trying to prevent Jennifer from being hurt knowing the truth.

The show features Kevin Smith as one of Jennifer's house mate who is an alcoholic, with his clumsy and hilarious act, the show was made nice even though it was a little plain.

I managed to download the soundtrack this morning and I love all of its tracks.

The show somehow share common feel with Natalie Portman's Garden State. Not many people will like Catch and Release, the cinema probably had only less than 15 person inside and some bachelors sitting in front me left in the middle of the show. But I like it for its story simplicity and its beautiful scenery of small town America country side.

Lounge Music

2007-04-15T01:11:00.000+08:00

I don't really fancy going to night clubs in reality, but I had always gave people the misconception of being a wild party animal. The last time I've been to a night club was 4 years ago.

No I'm not, I can't dance (like William Hung) and I move my body like a block of wood afloat on a streaming water..hehe...

I fake it (and I found myself some talent in conversation which I'm not interested),yet, I dislike those glamorous yet shallow business gatherings like dinners and drinking parties, people talk about making money, talking cock (non sense) and those fake gesture of shaking hands, congratulating people for winning top sales awards, etc (congratulations? for what?).

Those kind of human interaction are pretty much fake, filled with motives and intentions.

Like I had always thought of, if there is a type of social gathering that I prefer, it would be something more qualitative in communications, conversation has to be intellectual and spiritual fulfilling, something where every participants fully enjoy themselves, feel relax to express themselves over a glass of beer with music serenading the climate.

Lounge/chillout music is something I get to know during a visit to Adelaide's Wine Center 3 years ago. The center's management had a small pub in the exhibition center that serves wine during night time and I happened to came across a CD player with a CD in it, I played it, with a combination of relaxing light ambiance, contemporary interior design and the lounge music serenading the emotions, I couldn't help but to start feeling, well, you may call it in love with that kind of setting.

I had since downloaded quite some numbers of lounge music, some are good, some are nice, and some so so and some are just dog (Buddha Bar's collection sounds like Gay Bar music). Not all are nice but I guess I can pick a few nice ones from each album and compile it into the ultimate lounge CD.

A little research turns out that lounge music is not popular in developing countries in Asia except Japan and Hong Kong. Lounge / chill out music is quite popular in Canada and European countries too.

My List of Lounge Music collection as below, feel free to get a copy from me if any of you would like to give it a try. (I like those those tracks that mixes saxophone, piano with their fast beat electronics.

1. Best Lounge Collection 2007
2. Best Of Chill Out Lounge 2006
3. Chill Out Ibiza 2 - The Lounge Edition 2007
4. Lounge for Lovers 2005
5. Ayurveda Buddha Lounge Vol.1-3
6. Bar Lounge Classics - 6CD
7. Sex Lounge
8. Lounge Classics (A Decade Of Lounge Chill Out) -2005
9. Cafe Lounge-Rose Hip Tea-2005
10. Lounge Worship - A Time To Chill Out + Chill Out
11. Ayurveda Buddha Lounge Vol.1-3
12. Tokyo Lounge
13. Lounge For Lover - La Corporacion
14. Bedroom Lounge - 2007
15. Lounge Couture vol2 - 2006
16. Play Lounge Party - 2006
17. Coffee Bar and Lounge Vol 1 - 2007
18. Erotic Lounge Series
19. Destination Lounge (Hong Kong)

Err...titles and designations, does it matter?

2007-04-08T22:44:00.001+08:00

okI recalled 5 years ago, my German class tutor telling us in Germany, they take the title of doctorate very serious and you have to address a person who hold a doctorate as "Dr" to show good gesture and being polite, reason being in Germany, it's very hard to complete the doctorate studies in comparison to other nations.

Hmm...good one.

But closer to my profession, I've seen people fascinating (or masturbating) with their own qualification and titles. CPA, ACCA, FMP...etc etc... I have friends in medical profession who are obsessed with titles like MBBS, NMD etc etc.... I was thinking, who gives a shit about our titles?

I guess everyone must to be proud of ourselves as we worked hard to earn those title we deserve. But, don't be obsessive about it, please. I have one dumb ass in my department who score straight As in her CPA exam but who don't have a clue about using her common sense, she's the dumbest, dumbest certified asshole accountant I ever seen, no business sense, no common sense, and no sense of reality, and yet she think herself as the most wonderful, brilliant and brightest star around.

I wonder what shit the parents feed her with.

My aspiration is to finish my CFA program, then do a postgraduate studies for economics. I promise myself one day if I earned those titles, I will not throw my weight around and self promote it. At the end of the day, knowledge matters, it's a compentition against our own intellectual capacity, not against the world.

Well, why on earth, a post graduate in economics when the market is demanding MBAs? It's out of our own intellectual pursuit (but many study for the sake of their work).

And I couldn't stand my peers at workplace, always self promoting their education background, typical sentence like " I am ACCA mah" or "I am xxx, CPA", "Hi, I am zzz, I am a graduate of FMP"..... That's chilly..... Aiyo...please lah....ACCA,CPA?

To the ice kacang seller at Sow Tow Lane, he will say "hami lai?" in hokkien - what's that MBBS? To the average people in Penang, we will say "oh....loh kun kia" (Junior doctor, freshie) So....don't be too fascinated, who gives a shit what is ACCA or CPA?

Probably they were so drunk with the advertisements and commercial promoted by those qualifying agencies or education providers to suck their education money....so please...

Titles and desination are given to us in recognition that we already posses the minimal standard required for a field of knowledge. Having it is not enough, continuous refinement and pursuit of wider knowledge in it is the main purpose. Above all else, knowledge is nothing unless we can apply it and use it for the betterment of the society and the world, right?

p.s. FMP stands for "Financial Managment Program" of GE corporation, it was considered internally as a incubation program to train up future finance leaders, but I think beyond GE at the outside world, no one really bother what is a FMP anyway, so to those fuckers in GE, stop masturbating yourself. (Not to be mean because I wasn't selected for that program, but I really can't stand those FMP graduates in their late 20's, full ego and arrogant attitude thinking their the best of breed)

Wahlau....such a dream....

2007-04-07T07:41:00.000+08:00

Had a good dream last night, a good one, really.

You see, a lot of the times, I take dreams as a scenarios and simulation to reflect my own personality and thinking that I won't see it during conscious moments, the so called black spot in life. And I enjoy the pondering and thoughtful process for every dreams that I think is significant.

Last night, I dreamed of myself sitting next to a soft drink vending machine. I have this little bad habit since boyhood, to try my luck putting my fingers into the coin compartment hoping that someone left some coin change in there.

Over in dreamland, I found a 50 cents intact and I insert that coin back into the machine, thinking since it's not my money, I'll just put in back so that the next person buying drinks at the machine will need to top up a little further to get the drink. Yes! I passed my holiness test of ....honesty.

And it turns out that the vending machine have a 10 dollar notes stuck into it. Once the 50 cents coin hit the machine, oh damn, the 10 bucks is sucked in and i got loads of 50 cents dropping out like crazy, as if I hit the jackpot.

Yeah right, forget the ethical and moral test, not sure where I got a bucket, I start sweeping those 50 coins into my bucket, but not sure why the indicator shows i still have $3 credit in the machine (meaning I only got $7 from the coins)

I went back sitting on my cubicle working, shit, an old lady showed up, telling me in her sorrow voice and hurtful face, she heard that I found some money at the vending machine which she claim is hers. And so now, I am in a dilemma, I played it cool inside, denying it first and start questioning...and urghhh...stomachache ended my dream...rushed to toilet at 7am on a nice Saturday morning...

So I pondered, what will I do? Giving her back just like this? Keeping the money? or what?

I don't have a doubt about what I will do. The evil thought of greed is there, but conscience prevailed.

It would be stupid for me to leave the money there at the first place, someone will take it.

It would be stupid too if I keep it, I will face sleepless nights and guilt, who knows, 10 bucks means a lot to somebody.

It's foolish if I just trust that old lady and hand it over just like this.

So I knew what I'll do.

1. Question and test the lady, observe her body language, tone of her voice and how genuine is her claims.

2. If her claims are real, fork out a new $10 notes, return it to her.

3. Hey....I only got $7 out of the coins! It cause me inconvenience to carry so many coins and I have to make a loss of $3 - doesn't matter, if I can leap over that threshold, $3 will buy me hapiness

4. What if she fooled me? No worries, what comes around, goes around.

5. Sleep peacefully at night, knowingly that I did the right thing and feel glad I didn't betrayed my conscience.

6. What to do with the bucket of coins? Erh.....maybe go buy more Isotype or 100 plus isotonic softdrinks and leave it in my car for parking tickets. Oh....maybe I can buy some chewing gums, dragonball playing cards, or Pokemon balls from those vending machines. (I enjoyed the feeling of anticipation when I was a boy, wondering what is going to come out from the vending machine)

10 bucks...something very significant to me in my early days of boyhood. I once saw mom forking out her last $20 from her pocket to buy me a pair of Bata shoes at Mc Callum street. when I was 13.

I remembered that scene well and because of that I never to complaint or miss a schedule giving mom some money to complement our household expenses since working.

That amount is immaterial compared to our household spending, but it took up 15% of my monthly salary and pretty significant to myself whenever I need to pay my bills.

All because of that scene I saw 10 years ago.

At the end of the day, life is only worth living if we can render our service to others, and I am glad mom and dad gave me the favorable condition that I need not sell my conscience for the 10 bucks.

Should I was born to a not well to do family, I think my action could have been different.

Oh yeah.....I reinforced myself again today...wuhoo...

But I am not ready to delete all my Anna Nicole Smiths yet....ah...amen....god please forgive me...

Those simple things in life (that I enjoy)

2007-04-02T20:45:00.000+08:00

When dad got promoted to senior management in his mid career life, life was a big change for the family. Suddenly from a meager lifestyle, life were then filled with indulgence, lavish meals, private clubs, attentive services were the vocabulary of life. Well, back then,I knew I am still have not experience how is it like at the top of the society hierarchy, so I thought life was wonderful, and made it my aim to one day to be one of the top echelons, the aim - to get all the indulgence you can ever imagine.

Well 8 years later today, I still crave for boutique watches, exotic sports car, high end stereos. While I haven't really got what I craved for, but I guess those things at the end of the day are probably nothing more than physical matter outside our minds which can't fill the empty hole and inside every human soul.

'Be honest' I told myself. Others will think I am cheap, girls will think I'm boring and dull, and probably those shop keepers in KLCC won't bother to entertain me if they knew this, but here are the real simple things I do enjoy in life.

Food:
1. Granny's vegetable and fish ball boiled soup with rice (I ate lot of those during childhood)
2. Mom's fried sausage and egg with rice (just had one this evening)
3. Potatoes with curry gravy on rice (I still take that during lunch time)
4. Indomee goreng with lime juice squeezed on it. Complementary fried bacons and egg (I invented this)
5. Fried pasta with Leggo's tomato paste, add with Heinz BBQ sauce and oriental chili sauce to spice things up (I invented this too)

Attire:
1. Slippers or sandals (Hey, my feet needs to breath...how I envy the ladies in office...)
2. White shorts or bermuda (come on....it's tropical country here)
3. White short sleeve shirt or white round neck t shirt (white textile makes things cooler)

Music:
1. Frank Sinatra Celine Dion Duet - All the way (The best duet I ever heard)
2. Nat King Cole - Fly me to the moon (There's no boundaries with your imagination with it)
3. Norah Jones - Come Away with me (Best song to sing to in the winter morning while walking on the streets)

Cars:
1. Perodua Kelissa (Love it for its simplicity and cozy feeling...sounds gay)
2. Second hand Proton Wira (carefree....fear not it will be scratched, because you don't care)
3. Anything a boy can play with like a Lego technique.

Lifestyle:
1. Evening walk on the beach and share your thoughts with a true friend on Friday nights (No...I don't like night clubs or big gatherings, I prefer qualitative communication)
2. Read a book with smoothening music on my bed, best if it's a rainy Sunday afternoon (I don't prefer jokes and small talks during gatherings around StarBucks or mamaks either, that is so quantitative)
3. Go to the airport watching planes flying over your head and land in front of you on Saturday mid night (with a friend to chat with, true to the heart, don't forget to enjoy the calm at the air strips)
4. Watch "How to lose a guy in ten days" with all the imported junk foods from Cold Storage while on your sofa bed
5. Complement your movie with a bottle of Hahns (I prefer to drink at home before sleep, I also prefer Aussie beer over German lagers and the Yank's Budweisers)
6. Swim from 9am on Saturday morning (It's so refreshing)
7. Meditate before sleep every night (Just started this and it's addictive)
8. Visit (and talk to) your grandparents once or twice a week at least (At their old and lonely age, you are what they look forward to see everyday, don't forget to buy them newspaper, bread and kaya from the Indian sundry shop, they prefer that over Bread History)
9. Reading (intellectually and spiritually rich material), observe happenings around us.
10. Love your job (and learn new skills), but too bad you don't love all the people there, they sucks.

Most of all, get a friend who is understanding and you can share with him why you love these simple things in life so much.

But gee.....I still want to ride on a Aston Martin DB9 and I still want social dinners full of grandeur with the top echelons of society, just couldn't miss that once in a life time.....just don't forget who you really are and where your roots is. (Oh...I still want a Panerai Luminor too)

A thing about meditation

2007-03-30T19:57:00.000+08:00

I used to find my peers who go motivation camps, religion classes as, well, aliens.

I had sleepless nights for the past 4 years. Too much thoughts, too much thinking. Haven't really get a good sleep for that period. Occasionally woke up in middle of the night, found myself in middle of darkness and feeling like an empty hole in myself. At times, I thought of seeing a psychiatric to help me with my woes.

Got hurt badly last week and lost sleep for that night, what a suffer, a night too long.

So I went to that Burmese temple in Penang, a place where I had worshipped since a small boy to pray for peace and strengh to endure. As it was early, there aren't many tourists (yeah, that temple has more tourists than worshippers in any ordinary day), in his indistinct burmese acsented english, he share with me a thing or two about in meditation knowledge and it sounded promising, he told me there is a meditation session every Wednesday.

I think it's good to read a thing or two about buddism before any ordinary man go start learning meditation. Meditation is the basic foundation of buddism. Well, if meditation can help solve my immediate woes, why not? People got to understand why meditation plays an important role in Buddism in order to get the maximum benefits from.

I reached there just on time but started in a rush. I can't find my comfortable position and I have no idea those attendees are mumbling or singing. The moment everyone closes their eyes, the only guidance comes from the voice of the monk telling us where to focus our concentration on. So after awhile, managed to get settle down and amid occasional thought disturbance and a cram legged, I managed to sit there for 65 minutes without myself knowing it! (Hey...I can't even sit still and study for more than 30 minutes without going to toilet, drinking and looking for food during school days)

Gee.....and it was amazing. I am not sure it was my pure imagination or it was really "chi" or "inner air" within my body at work. I sweat alot under 4-5 ceiling fan rotating at high speed, occasionally it makes me feel "high", gee......that must to be much better than ecstacy candies like Ice. I had my first soundest sleep that night.

Last night, I did the same and after doing it, I feel like weightless after meditating while lying on my bed to sleep.....was that a mirage, imagination or was it real? I ain't sure.

Anyhow the monk's remarks gave me a great injection of confidence, he told me for a first timer, it's very good for me to be able to meditate for 65 minutes.

If meditation can help discipline myself, control my feelings, desire and sharpen my mind, strenghen my will and make me wiser, then it's worth learning meditation.

I had decided ever since, to make learning buddism one of the 3 pillar of strengh in my life. And I hope I am right.

Thanks to my friends who had gave support or companionship to me for the past 4 years. That night onwards until the rest of my life, I shall sleep often in peace.

Nah....I ain't that holy yet, there are still some Anna Nicole Smith porns around my PC....kekekekeke

But I am sincere when I say it's a life long commitment for self improvement as well as soul searching.

And hey.....Anna Nicole Smith? eeewwwwww....puke....

BMW E92 M3

2007-03-08T21:59:00.000+09:00

Introducing the new E92 M3 coupe from BMW, debuting in Geneva Motorshow as a concept car.

No....sounded to chilly. Actually.....argh!!!!!! Here comes the coupe of the decade!

Unlike its E46 predecessor, this time around the new M3 will hit the road with a V8 engine, probably with a minimum of 3.5l engine displacement...to match up against its arch rival - the Audi S4.

To be frank, I don't really like its soup up aggresive looks compare to its convention sleek and stylish coupe brother. The heat dispersion outlets around the hoods and engine bay made it looks closer to Ah Beng and Ah Seng modifying their Wira become Lancers and Kancils become Mira. Top Gear's Jeremy Clarkson voted its E46 predecessor as 'boring' for it looks...

But I mean.....who cares? You don't fall in love with a M3 for its looks, you want the dynamics, the edge, the ride aggession and you want a M3 for its power waiting to be unleased by your foot on its pedal.

No...I never had a chance to test drive one before, but I did have alot of its videos from it predecessor showcasting its performance, and to tell you god gave men alcohol because god loves us, the SMG is a second act by god for men who loves car..drool..

The new E92 M3 is rumoured to have a 7 speed SMG III gearbox from its M5 cousin...cool...for starters, SMG stands for Sequential Manual Gearbox which in essense a clutchless manual gearbox. SMG gives you the option of being in auto transmission mode or other preset modes like sports as oppose to other driving condition and terrains.

Here's the fun part of SMG, in manual mode SMG works exactly like a manual transmission. Unlike tiptronic, steptronic,shifttronic or what ever tronics you see, SMG requires the drivers to change their gear in according to the speed, your respond time is faster than a manual gearbox because precision clutch change is done by the computer. For those tronics transmission, basically it's still an auto transmission with the option for you to overide its gear level (and will automatically interupt in according to speed).

Enthutiast calls this car an athlete in a tuxedo...perfect description, the design guideline of the car had always maintained "The secret to any M3 is its successful combination of every day driving machine with race track weapon".

I once listen to a audio clip recording noise from its enginer...and I must tell you, it injects adrenaline and the rush of of blood really heats up my face....arghh....I sounded like desperado now.

The E92 M3 concept features a carbon fibre reinforced plastic roof, but when the real production car hits the street to save weight, I really hope they will use conventional steel, I don't mind sacrisfying a little weight for a safer overturn in accident (At least safer in my perception).

The car back will feature an alloy of aluminium steel mix...to save weight..cool..at least its not plastic like the roof in case some reckless lorries crashed into my butt.

The details are still sketchy with the actual production model, more to comment when the production is in place. Above are just my subjective opinion. You may read more about this muscle car in http://www.germancarfans.com.

Panerai Luminor

2007-03-03T21:38:00.000+09:00

Next time when you're out with your friends or colleagues, keep an eye on their watch, if they are strapping a luxury time piece on their wrists, chances are that watch could either be a Tag Heur, Tissot, Omega or maybe Rolex.

No, I'm not saying that type of fashion watches under prominent brands like Gucci,Prada,DKNY or Burberry. I am referring to those "pure play" watch makers.
There are 3 things that the Swiss dominate in this world: 1.investment banking 2.swiss army knive 3.time pieces.

Luxury watches like the Tags, Tissots, Omegas and Rolexes are all Swiss made (you may count Swatch into it but it's not on par).

Nope, I am not brand conscious or material boy. I just love to collect things which I think is nice or unique, from die cast model cars to retro look wooden radio.
Watches are part of my collectibles. I currently have a Samsung Digital/Analogue Hybrid watch, a Lorus solar powered watch (yeah...kinetic is too common, so I got solar!) and a first generation G-Shock Digital/Analogue (hybrid again).

Unlike the Swiss, exotic sports car is where Italian dominated -Bugatti, Lamborghini, Maserati, Ferarri (and maybe Speghetti).

Heard of Italian watches? No, again, I am saying pure play watch makers. I didn't own it (yet), it is Panerai.Fans of Panerai watches are affectionately known as Paneristi. At first sight, I instantly became a Paneristi.

I love its Luminor design, not too complicated like any typical chronograph, minimalist and yet sophisticated looks. Its love at first sight.
You know, while I like Tag Heur's Kirium F1 and not many can't afford it, fact is it is too commonly known as a luxury brand, people will associate your choice of watch with your wealth rather than your taste.

Needless to say for Tissot and Omega, too boring and too dry sometimes.
I never liked Rolex either for the same reason or worse - a commodity, and you can cash out from the pawn shop for liquidity with it, your grandpa likes it, that mistress of businessman prey for it, Petaling Street fake goods mongers loves its and robbers wants it too. There is nothing to appreciate about its design and people just know it's a rolex (and Hong Kies will ask: it this "kam lou" for real?).

Speaking of Panerai, they are appointed by the Italian Navy to supply chronographs to officers...fuissh.....there is something fetish about military watches isn't it? Categories of Aviators, Maritime, Special Forces really turns me on...but most of all, military watches are designed for rough and practical use, not your fashion watch which will break your heart each time you scratches its belt of body..kekeke...

Panerai Luminor seems to be a perfect blent of practicallity and sophistication design....arghhhh...ok...this will be my next target...probably set a target for myself to own one before I am 30...anyway...going to KL next week, they have an outlet in KLCC, going to check out the price and start working out my finance for it...eessshh...

**Update 7/3/2007 - Just found out from a colleague who happens to be a paneristi, Europe selling price is around Euro 5,000 on average for a Panerai, that translate to around RM25,000.....my target of getting it before 30 years old....reasonable?

Peace at 4:02am (Chinese New Year Day 2)

2007-02-19T15:59:00.000+09:00

4:02am, 2nd day of the lunar calender's year of Boar...at last...I got some peace at this early hours, having the need to go throught the hot weather, the traffic jams and the noise your female relatives can do during visits to or from relatives....

Gee.....by end of year, I'll be hitting 24 years old....hmm...feels abit sad....times passes by so fast...having left Perth 1.5 years ago, now I started to miss life as student there(amid boring one), the rainnny and chilling winter, the cooling morning breeze under the warm morning sun during autumn and the freedom there....yeah....freedom....freedom from traffic jams, freedom of getting fresh air, and in summary, a freedom of peaceful life there....hmm..must try very hard to make it in life and so can keep a home in Perth..

I always remembered and appreciate the hospitality given by my aunt's family during my 3/5 years stay there.

I recall how touched I was whenever my uncle offer to drop me at university in late evening after dinner and their place, I always get fruits and milk packed in plastic bags, you know...fresh milk and apples are dirt cheap in Australia, but the care and warmth of hospitality are priceless, don't really know what can I do in future to show that appreciation...
Yup...feeling blues over the last few days...I miss Perth..badly..and lil cousin Careen is going back to Perth tomorrow after her 2 weeks holiday in Penang, guess I won't be seeing her for the next 2-3years,ah...

And I really miss the memories we got from the trip in Winter 2004, travelling across WA region and visiting Adelaide. Best travel trip I ever had and it's very special to have bunch of buddies travelling together few years after heading our own ways in different locations.

By the way, today's chinese new year, second day. The only thing I look forward to it is the reunion time with close members of family and friends.

I don't really like want the angpows and lavish dinners..first being those ang pows are not hard earned money, don't really feel meaningful to spend it, and you have some pathetic far far away relatives that visit you, giving you RM2 packet to you in hope of getting a RM10 packet for their children from your parents (yeah....might as well I change that 8 bucks difference into 10cents coins and throw em back on their face), also..lavish meals makes me fat and gives me eating disorder (gained 3kgs for last 2-3 days, and it's only day 2 of CNY)

Resolution for year 2007:

1. Take CFA level 1 exam (pass it..not cheap eh..$4000 inc books)
2. Learn a sport (Squash or Tennis, best if Jujitsu kekeke)
3. Trim weight down to 75kg by year end
4. Increase saving rate to 60% of disposable income (cut expense..yeah...finance talk here you got)
5. Read (and truly understand) George Soros' theory of reflexity in his book "Alchemy of Finance"

Have a great year to all my friends...haa..pig year...my year lah.. (eh JB samseng Ah Sam..forgot to take photo with you..keke)

p.s. YW....how do you do now leh? Haven't seen her since graduated 1.5 years ago, my greatest buddy in Perth, last heard of her still working in office at 1am in KL...aiyo...
She and I always go lab at 11pm to study, ended up surfing net till 4am, then go take supper at Northbridge, reach home at 6am then sleep...kekeke,YW...I miss those time lah...

Toyota Mark X...impressed!

2007-01-09T15:34:00.000+09:00

I was having lunch at Auto City, Juru, this afternoon, on the way to inspect my company's scrap vendor gold extracting process. That security manager of ours wanted to have a look at new 4WDs to replace his aging company's Pajero security vehicle.

Guess the first showroom we went into? Naza World...haa.....for god sake, you want an exotic Kleeman or Brabus to be your security vehicle? kekeke, I took the opportunity to browse around, turns out the first time I see a Toyota Mark X live in front of me (I had read of it many times and for the first time it's in front of me!)

At first glance, I don't really like it's exterior, the front lamps looks like batman's logo, the car butt is not very outstanding either, at first sight, you know it's a japanese make.

Open the doors, then you will be impressed. The door handle is much more solid than my locally UMW assembled Toyota Camry, sounded a very european car heavy tone "clock...." when you pull the handle to open the car, compared to my Camry's empty vessel's "cock...." noise...Impressed....

Look into the interior....ohh....I fell in love with it....the cockpit taste sophisticaed and feels solid !!!

The ride's profile is pretty low, I have to bend more than I usually do for a sedan to get into the car. Sit into it, fall in love for the second time....it feels so Tokyo, low profile, ergonomics, and being surrounded by the solid interior....argh......the sports sedan I found most promising thus far, compared to Lexus IS250, BMW330i and Audi A4.

The cockpit is absolutely perfect, blended with clean cut dashboard and minimalist design, the shifttronic gear stick sportinessly is short, the leather was woven with execellent precision - neat and clean lines of strings holding the leather together, last but not least, it's seats are so low but comfortable that you almost thought this car is a Mazda RX8 setting. But no....it's a toyota Mark X sedan.

Man...I couldn't stop wondering how it feels to cruise this ride on the elevated highways in downtown Shibuya or Roponggi Hills district in Tokyo...

I couldn't help but to be impressed more when step out from the car and shut the door....solid!

Conclusion: While I didn't test drive the car for its performance and it lacks the "wow" factor for anyone who first see the car, it did score a great overal for its feel, ergonomics, comfortness in interior.

Competitor of its class (sports sedan) includes BMW330i, Audi A4, Saab 9-3 and Lexus IS250 (which shares many common components with Mark X). This is the thus far the best feeling sports sedan I had sit in before. Audi A4 tasted too much a volkswagen Passat;Scandavanian Saab tasted too sissy for a chauvnist like me (or too gay for a guy to drive).

While I personally liked Lexus IS250, but it tasted "Too Toyota" - produced for in mass, and the interior are too "plastics" and filmsy.

While BMW330i is an engineering masterpiece, the 3er lacks the uniqueness to attract attention if seen on the street (since you've seen the average insurance salesman, mistress of typical chinese businessman, mid life crisis old men and teens in adolesence trying to impress their girl friends speeding dangerously on the road without skills).

Price starts at RM230,000 for a 2006 made, CBU, manufactured in Toyota's Kanegasaki plant in Iwate perfecture, Japan, imported by Naza World (You won't like the f*cking face of the salesmen).

12 Signs that you had seen an ah-bo living fossil in perth

2005-06-04T13:26:00.000+08:00

1. They like to booze and sleep on the streets (especially in front General Post Office)

2. They robbed you and say thank you

3. The female species love to be eaten tofu happily by any of their male kind ( they like to be chao sui sek taufu)

4. Laugh like mad cow at the spur of a moment like a synchronised laughing bomb (imagine you and your friend sitting quietly on a train and then come into eye contact, simultaneously laughed, stop, laugh, stop..again and again)

5. Eager to learn asian languages on the bus from asians (but only sounded the same like baboon for all languages - 'ee-eengk...ngek ngek')

6. Wear clothes of "fubu", "dada" or brand of likes (imagine an ape dress like jayz, ja_rule, s_boogy)

7. Look like chimpanzee's cousin

8. Smells like dead rat

9. Scold asians for no reason

10. Cycle pass by you and bark "worff.."at you

11. Father, mother, son, daughter are loving family (but always scold F word to each other)

12. Say it "y0o..bro..you got a dollar?" (Pronouce "doh-lah")